Big fat chicken in Torridaussity Two

That’s me…I saw the boy last night and wasn’t brave enough to stand up and ask for what I want…my only defense which is a poor one is that he asked about things that made me feel he’s more committed than I thought. I know I’m not 100% happy, but my fears are really getting to me. Do I give up the percentage of happy that I am and take the chance I’ll find more? Do I let things go a bit more to see if he really just takes a long time to trust someone? Is it even possible for me to have the courage to state what I want because deeply I doubt I’ll ever find it anyway? I really am a mess about this. Read a quote once....”we accept the love we think we deserve.” Maybe deep down I still think too poorly of myself and until I believe in myself I’ll be trapped.