Adult ADHD in Bittersweet

So in having the boy with severe ADHD and having two others with a more minor, I know the symptoms and whatnot in a CHILD and more importantly a MALE child.

See woman react different.... And the dr says you know. Its adult ADHD. Which i know. I know the symptoms, i know the side effects. I see so much of it in myself both as a child and as an adult. But like all adults, ive learned to live with my quirks.

She suggested i take a low dose of adderall. It would give me more energy to combat the thyroid issues and possibly help me with the brain multitasking from hell issues i have. IE reading a book while watching tv and crocheting. Im cool with crochet/spinning while reading or watching tv, But i dont need to pause the tv, watch a you tube video and go back. I can follow it all. But its not good for my brain to do it.

I also do these motion things that drive my boss crazy. Like swaying and twiddling with my hands and things i hold. I keep various items on me for fiddle items. Like i keep hair ties on my vest at work and constantly fiddle with them. there are a few other things, but in any event i decided why not try the adderall.

So yesterday was my first day, Ive had it a bit but i never try something new on a work day. Yesterday i took my pill with my vitamins. Got dressed, Drank my glass of soda. Then i did my hair. Like REALLY did my hair. I dutch braided a crown braid ( in shoulder length hair) Then pinned it up. ( Religious reasons, i pin up and cover my “pony tail” ) Then i got a hold of little girl. I did duel bubble braids into pig tails and braided those. Then she ate breakfast and i waited for the mother in law to get dressed.

We visited our baby birds and said hello for 45 minutes. Chatted iwth some other pet store people and bought some food and toys. Sent off for DNA sex of my baby and then went across town. We stopped at the walmart for lunch ( smoothie for me, chicken for the child, salad for the MIL) Then we went to another pet store, Got another toy and some cat food. MIL was tired by the third store and done, But i needed to go to hobby lobby. Which was at least close by. The pet store is half hour from walmart/pet smart. So stopped at HL and little girl picked out rainbow yarn, i got the cream i needed for the shawl test im working on and some jute twine so i can start knotting rope ladders for the birdies.

Got home, cleaned up, did some stuff. ( still didnt eat) I crashed around 4. I got tired, wanted a nap, drifted in and out and felt slightly stoned for a bit. Didnt have an angry fall off like my boy did, I just got tired. After 6 i woke up, Still didnt eat, Watched some you tube about parrots and then some americas next top model. My mother in law and I are watchign a few episodes a night, I saw the first few seasons and she never watched it. Mostly we LOVE the photography bits and we love throwing things at Tyra, crazy wench omg. But we like the photoshoot ideas. She used to do my unicorn sessions with me. She handled the pony so kids were safe. Anyway we get grand ideas that we want to do makeup and model wise and its a funny bonding thing i guess. We are really similar people and both Leos, Sometimes it works, sometimes no.
I did end up eating around 8 pm, I ate a cinnamon roll, some chicken, 2 slices of bread, a spoon of pudding a oreo and a soda. I drink water throughout the day i just dont “count it” I have a wicked sweet tooth at night. So any good it does in not eating during the day is undone at 8 when my night munchies kick in. Its worse when i AM stoned. The perk of adderall being an appitite suppressant is a good one when you are 50 lbs overweight like i am.

I did post a thread on my bird group about being excited to get DNA testing and i had a shit ton of rude comments to respond to. Which i eventually gave up. Asshats, one called me a dog for wanting to know the sex of my bird. Like WUT? Someone even asked if the CIS were ok… Because clearly wanting to know your sexually diamorphic birds gender ( can tell the gender on sight with an adult) BEFORE i spend 2 years calling it a HE and it be a she and wanting to correct. Anyway that CLEARLY is a cis problem… I felt like responding are the gays ok? They clearly have a problem with me spending 40 dollars to know the gender of my bird before it shows it two years later… Seriously it was like 6 of them screaming at me. Up to and including calling me a dog over it. Like sure, i know im not hot or anything but my looks have WHAT to do with it? Or is dog slang for something new now?

About half the comments were yay let us know what your avocado turns out to be haha. Which im cool with.
By the way, The female name is going to be Calypso. Male name TBD.
Anyway that was my night on day one.

Today is day two. I took my pills. Took CO to the store, got him a few pair of pants, got myself some scrubs ( comfy af ones too!) and a light jacket. Good for shit weather like today. plus clearence! Co got a hoodie. We also had a baby bunny with us! Primrose got to meet Rose at work haha. shes the teeny red runt. She also went to walmart with us. My older neighbor lady brought cake for mothers day, so i got some flowers and made her a flower pot. Visited for a bit and she has new kittens. Our little Jinxy is a big brother again. 3 babies with mama. 4 days old, we cuddled while she told me of her granddaughters depression and health issues. They had to leave her in the hospital and its so hard on them :( I feel bad.
I took my refresher pill at 4 and im feeling pretty dang perky. Not enough to do much, because its mothers day and my lazy day. I restarted my shawl in new colors. Helped my kids with soem school work. typed really really fast. Ive eaten a glass of soda and thats it and its now 5 lol. Im not angry at the not eating thing. Im really glad for it. Im hoping it helps control some cravings. No fall off this time because i took the second pill on time. But all in all, i feel like i can actually GET things done. I dont feel like OMG run run run ( except in the am) but i do feel like i have enough energy to get up and pee and do things. It almost feels like a bipolar type 2 high. Which are rare due to the meds controling that. My biggest fear was the fall off and if there were medication interactions. Of which the dr said there are not. Im fine on my other meds ( to control the thyroid and bpd2 ) plus all my vitamins. Everything is fine.
I had x rays of my back and hips last week and i go back in friday for THOSE results. Im hoping to maybe get something small for the migraines/neck pain. Something other then the meds i react to ( imitrex) and ones that are useless for migraines ( otc meds) I also dont want ot have to take napronxin every day for muscle and joint pain. I realize a LOT of my symptoms are fibro symptoms and im hoping that maybe something can be done? I dont know. I know that if i eat an edible before i go to bed and sleep through the being stoned part. I dont hurt as much the next day. It makes a difference in the daily. I dont care for being stoned. But i like being in less pain lol.

Anyway, so two days has done me ok on adderall. Ive gotten more done. Ive felt more energetic and i drank a lot less soda ( instead of about 6 cans, i drank maybe 3) So that is actally a lot better. For the weight loss, my nightly munchies were bad. I probably ate 1200 calories at night. I mean over all i was under 1800 calories for the day i believe, which is my maximum. But in general i crave bread and sweets so thats what i go for. Plain bread with butter or jam or nothing at all. That is my go to munchie. I even have girl scout cookies on my desk and jelly beans in the drawer and i go for plain bread. GSC and jelly beans are two of my favs. Im going to work harder on that sweet addiction. Because i really want to loose some weight. I should loose 30-40 for my personal ideal ( i look really good at 160 and like to stay no less then 140) Ideal for my height dr says is 120. But when i get to 120 my bones are sticking out. So i actually like 150-160 better. Im not bony, but not chunky. Im a size 8 at that weight and im happy there. I look thin. I carry weight well because im almost 200 and im a size 12. Most people dont think im close to 200 lbs. At my store womans pants are sized similar to mens and im a 33-34. I would love to be a 30 haha. I can do this. I just HAVE to beat the sugar cravings because the bread and soda are what gets me. I eat pretty healthy and cook our own meals. ok i DO eat out maybe once a week or every other week when at work and either we didnt have left overs or i didnt want the ones we had or i forgot. I want to get there. Im hoping this helps. Considering my cravings for soda and sugar were way less during the day. im HOPING it helps. I hoped work would but it didnt. So next step…

Ok i better go.