another nail in that coffin in Bittersweet

So i got another dead bun today. I lost four yesterday. Just the newborns. I have NO idea why they are dying. They dont seem to have RHD. There is no rhyme or reason. Just four yesterday in their nest box, 2 alive. And then again today one looks like it got squished between a wall and the nest. I know thats a plausable thing. But i lost 8 during delivery in one litter. And now 5 of the 17 i had alive.
But tis just one more thing that says we can be done with this. We can move on from this.
Four went home today. 3 with one gal, 1 with another. the lady who wanted 4 got in contact with me and she still wants them whew! So that is another 4. 2 moms and 2 bucks to go with. Then another gal put a claim on my magpie and harli doe. Good pairing. So once those 6 go. Ill be in a better place! We all will be.

I got my labs back. My RA antibodies put me 4 points below RA positive. So instead they had me do x rays and gave me a muscle relaxer. so thats just … exhausting. whatever. see this is the giving up feeling you get from being in pain and getting we dont see anything wrong. The more you hear it. The less you want to go. She said she would refer me to pain management which is narcotics.... and ive always tried never to use them. I would rather an answer then a narcotic.