Gossipy in Current Events

I feel charged up after visiting my niece and nephew. I picked my sister up from her oral surgery yesterday. I was a little nervous about her husband being home, we haven’t spoken since they all tossed me out. It was fine. I don’t want to carry any negative feelings. This covid hoax cost me everything, I’m an essential worker this time around. I’m dreading the day we are asked to get a vaccine. It’s not legal but none of these mandates are. Speaking of which, the first image in this article should say enough but the cognitively dead ones, the postmodern Nazis, are too demoralized to process information without the news or fact-checkers. They have no power of discernment within them. We need a new category of human, this is so unnatural. They have the intelligence of a parrot that can recite the news all day long. Anyways, the image shows the covid deaths in Canada within a year in red at the very bottom and then the enormous towers of blue of covid cases above it. This is a casedemic generated by a PCR that is not designed to diagnose infection. I posted the inventor of the test saying just that in my previous entry.
https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/ten-reasons-why-canadas-covid-experience-does-not-justify-violating-charter-rights-and-freedoms

My mother is going to miss me. I didn’t realize she was so lonely working at home. She misses the office breaks. The socializing. They’re trying to normalize people working from home but that’s looking cruel. Maybe some people enjoy it.

I move into my new place tomorrow. I’m excited. One more sleep. I’ll be honest, what I miss the most is Skyrim. Almost like a drug in the sense that it takes me away from my mind and the drama and upsets in the world. I’ve had no reprieve. When I don’t feel like I have control, I can have control playing that game.

What I talked about with my mother was my one concern about Toni, my soon-to-be roommate. Last time she and I hung out her depression hit. She felt sad and she started to make that my problem. I don’t want that to be my problem. Of course I’ll be there for her. I’m not good at it. I don’t sugarcoat and I just call it as I see it. My friend Beaudry was like an older brother to me and that’s how he handled me. I respected him for that. May he RIP. It’s just that I know she gave our rooming together the job of curing her loneliness. She also assigned our living situation the job of being a space to get away from Bob. Her fuckboy. Her FWB. There are actual important things in the world and breakups and relationship dramas are always the worst thing in the world to these people in the 3D. Ugh, am I jealous? Yes! Lol only because I don’t want to be conscious of what is happening in the world anymore. One cannot blue pill though.

Toni is codependent, she doesn’t have self-love, self-esteem, self-respect, self-confidence etc and needs to get that from somebody else. It’s a bold and ugly way to word it, yes. Who else has this level of codependence? Narcissists. She keeps getting tangled up with pathologically damaged men and she needs to stop doing that immediately. She has this fantasy that she can save them and lock them down and that will make her feel good enough. She’s also unconsciously putting herself in a situation that is doomed to fail so she has some level of security about not having to be fully vulnerable. I tell her all this btw, I don’t do the there-there. Anyway, when we last hung out she also asked me how I feel about having Bob over. So much for that distance. Did she notice that her depression hit shortly after bringing him up? Nope. Then she spun this fantasy about the three of us being great friends. No Toni. Stop being fucking pathetic. He’s a loser. He is dragging you down and making you a loser too. Get him off that pedestal and move on with your life. You can’t be his friend YOU made the situation too toxic.

She knew the score, she fell for him anyway. Kept pressuring him to be more. Read into everything he said and convinced herself that it was adding up to something. Then when he moved on she tried to be the victim of it. We are co-creators. We’ve all been there but we are in our mid thirties man. Her depression is just a paradigm switch, the previous paradigm has to die and we grieve it. We go through all the stages of grief and she is bargaining. Trying to find a way to include that loser in her life.

Her psychologist diagnosed her with ADHD and now that is the reason for everything wrong with her life. Fixing that will fix everything… lol. She needs to expand inward and realize it’s not the content in her life that is fucking her up it’s the context. Nothing is working because she isn’t working. Personal responsibility, that’s the power she needs to come into. We are response able, our ability to respond is infinite. She is responsible for her own self-esteem, self-respect and self-etc. She has an opportunity to avoid growing into a miserable old crone and getting this midlife crisis over with in her 30s. She won’t though. She will jump into another situationship at the earliest opportunity because she will not fix her own loneliness.

Anyway, I shall move on with my day. I Just want tomorrow over with. I can finally have my own room. I don’t have to live out of suitcases. I’ll have space and time in a kitchen to cook properly. A spot to park my car. Oh lala.

Suddenly I’m in the mood for some throwback

Last updated April 30, 2021