Saturnday in Current Events

An entry or two ago I explained how much of an asshole my mothers boyfriend is to her. First thing this morning she and I got into a squabble. I was the asshole that time. I was given the usual report of everything I did wrong around the house and she asked if I stopped listening to her and the word vomit came out. I’m not a child and I didn’t grow up in an OCD environment. I know this is from her boyfriend. It was over pretty quick, we were back to normal within minutes getting hyped about my apartment that I move into next week. I can’t carry any ill feeling toward my mother, I just can’t. I don’t want that in me ever.

We just went through all her boxes that she has in the basement here. She was giving me stuff that I don’t have for the new place. The song a thousand years played on the radio and I got really sad. Tomorrow she gets her Pfizer shot and reduces her life expectancy to two years, tops. I am praying that she survives the shock to her system. She is being lied to, the government and media are overtly lying to everybody and she, like countless others, refuse to believe that could happen. A decision was made that we don’t deserve to live and that breaks my heart. This is a crime in broad daylight against humanity. I can see why I, and others on my side of the narrative, talk aggressively about the sheep turned lab rats. It’s because the alternative is heavy grief.

It’s so menacing listening to them talk about the damn shots. I have to put my headphones on to tune it out. That generation is just talking about their shots like they just went through a war. Against their side effects that is. The side effects being a detox because they absolutely just poisoned themselves. Kyle, my moms boyfriend, is in rough shape. He’s presenting strong but you can see it that he is in a lot of pain. His friends just got the Moderna one and they were sitting in a tub of cold water most of the night. They felt on fire and like razor blades were inside them. It’s going to get really ugly come September/October when the mRNA starts to perform for these people.

Blah, I can’t dwell on this all day. My heart is breaking. I’m going to move on with my day. Going thrift store shopping with Toni.