Ageless, Part 1 in Daydreaming on the Porch
- April 16, 2021, 2:11 p.m.
- |
- Public
The following poem was written in 1999 and posted at Open Diary when I was 48. Since I’ve recently turned 70, I’ve been thinking a lot about the issues raised in this poem, composed so long ago, it seems to me now. In re-reading it several times, I see a lot of me as I am now, two decades ago. Its strange how time can play tricks on us, which makes me wonder what time is anyway.
Shortly, I hope to write Part 2 of “Ageless.” It will be only the second time in 18 years that I’ve written a poem. Now, since poetry has a way of capturing our deepest thoughts and feelings, I’m going to give it a try. I think I’m going to sit down one day and it’s all going to come out.
Ageless Part 1
Stand back, Methuselah,
I’m not ready to get old,
or to travel too much farther
or deeper into the night, yet.
I see crevices of age
in a mirror’s image
that doesn’t blanch
or flinch over truth-telling
like me in denial.
But I look hard at myself,
and I don’t see you, Ancient One.
Nothing changes,
this image in the mirror tells me.
No matter how many times I see it,
it always looks the same.
I’m still that youth
who even way back when
looked for signs of aging.
Youth, but now, past tense,
not on edge, but wary,
knowledgeable and experienced,
but where are the old enthusiasms?
Where is the compulsive need
to rush out and embrace life?
Maybe someone can make it reappear.
I link myself to all who’ve come before
when I contemplate where I’ve been
and how I’ve lived or not.
I haven’t lost, at least,
my keen awareness of getting older, slowly.
Aging is out there, somewhere,
just not for me.
I won’t become that old man
in white bare skin and bony legs,
hearing aid stuffed in ear to hear,
exposed, drooping a bit,
paying for his prescription,
waiting in line, like me,
but in no apparent hurry, like me.
At least he seems to be following
a safe path to his end times,
going slow, and taking no notice of me.
Oblivious, or else he doesn’t care.
Why should he?
It’s hot outside.
No need to go fast and work up a sweat
like we who bustle about
brimming with more of what
we think is life’s energy and relevance,
puffed up with the importance of our busyness
and our being here in the first place.
(Written Aug. 11, 1999)
Last updated April 16, 2021
mcbee ⋅ April 16, 2021
I can't believe Open Diary goes that far back. I joined there in 2005 I believe.
ConnieK ⋅ April 16, 2021
I'll be interested in reading what the older you replies.
Oswego ConnieK ⋅ April 16, 2021
Indeed. Should be very revealing and self -revelatory, to the extent that I’m willing to be vulnerable.
ConnieK Oswego ⋅ April 17, 2021
Well, that's always the rub. I write it first, no holds barred and then decide if I'm ready to share. Usually the answer is yes.
Oswego ConnieK ⋅ April 18, 2021
That's exactly right. I’m ready to share my partial self! 🥺🧐
gypsy spirit ⋅ April 16, 2021
well done, its great. Personally I have never feared getting old, at least in my head....but the changes in health and body flexibility is frustrating already. For me quality of life means more than quantity, except I still have a long bucket list amidst my hopes and dreams.
Will you share #2 with us soon please? p
Oswego gypsy spirit ⋅ April 17, 2021
I have not really feared getting old because it happens with such infinitesimal slowness. Whereas with death, that a huge leap beyond merely aging. It can occur very slowly, or quick as a flash. The key questions therefore are: 1) how can I be prepared and 2) Can I ever truly be prepared?
gypsy spirit Oswego ⋅ April 17, 2021
the only preparations for death, sudden or slow, is to have affairs such as Will etc in order and up to date, and of course to ensure our faith with get us through to the next stage of life. We both agree about the constancy of the soul and the 'next world' so there is nothing to fear. The other thing that gives up a sense of peace is leaving a special legacy . having made a small difference in the world and leave no bitter regrets. Thats how I see things anyway. There is more I believe but it would take a lengthy message to explain and not everyone wishes to hear it. Stay strong, take care, and know that you matter and are influential. p
Oswego gypsy spirit ⋅ April 18, 2021
Very nicely expressed. We leave our legacy in many y ways: through all the lives we’ve touch in a special ways; through children; our work; and our creative soul pursuits such as art, writing, photography and music.
Marg ⋅ April 17, 2021
Intrigued to read Ageless #2! :)
Lady of the Bann ⋅ April 18, 2021
My friend Patrick and I used to say we didn't want to get old. Then admitted it was better than the alternative.
I joined OD about 20 years ago. It kept me from going crazy.
Oswego Lady of the Bann ⋅ April 18, 2021
It usually is! 🤔🥺
Deleted user ⋅ April 19, 2021
What a treasure to have a piece of yourself from back then in the written word. You are an excellent poet.
Oswego Deleted user ⋅ April 22, 2021
Thank you! I save everything. This can pose problems, also.
Jinn ⋅ April 25, 2021
I can’t say I am enjoying getting old or welcoming it; although I know it is a privilege denied to many . I shudder when I look in the mirror and I find the lack of energy / stamina frightening. My mind feels the same but I wonder if it is. 🤦♀️ I suddenly have a great need to soak up as much knowledge and experiences as I can, because I know time is running out .
Oswego Jinn ⋅ April 25, 2021
I feel exactly the same way. I am opening up new channels of discovery on YouTube every day: esoteric and ancient wisdom traditions, parapsychology, world religions, quantum physics, consciousness and more. Also buying a number of books on those subjects. Time is short, and turning 70 recently only re-enforced that.