Another trip around the sun... in A Day in the Life of Me

Friday was my B-day. It funny to me when ever easter and my B-day overlap.
N came over saturday (her bday) to pick up HER birthday bag and bring me a piece of her cake and my present (she started me an avocado plant… her latest obsession lol they also started one when her daughter was born!)
Admitted to N while she was here that my depression has indeed returned. She got mad cause I hadn’t told her sooner, but she has alot on her plate with her 9 month old, and selling the house, and moving to an apartment while trying to settle a divorce AND shes preggers again too....
I just find it hard to get out of bed in the morning after D has gone to work. I have zero drive to do anything. Unless we have gym appointments, or I have specific things I need to do that day, I just find it very -hard-.
No, I haven’t been to see anyone. No I won’t be. I know I can fight it. I know HOW too. It just takes WORK. The hardest part for me this go-round is the random mini panic attacks.
They have been slightly more frequent since the episode with the “customer” back in February.
I know those of you who have been there will get it. Those of you who haven’t been wont, but consider yourself lucky.
We went out saturday night, to the same bar we went a couple weeks ago.
Kept hubbies face out of pics/tags this time so his FB rat doesn’t go running to his boss again.....
I am also just so FUCKING fed up with M. Just over it. Done. she can kiss it for all I care atm.
Could be the depression talking, but her Bday is the day before mine, I made sure to send her a bday msg soon as I was up.
My day comes around, all she does is send ME a msg on the pic I posted on HER wall ( it was a bday cake gif pic) saying “CAAAAAAAAAKE…ok bake me one now…❤ “
I respond I would.. but I am out of eggs… And sugar.. and probably more stuff that I need and don’t currently have
her - ” so what Im hearing here is I need to bring over eggs and sugar and more stuff”
Nothing else in return.
ALL DAY.
Not even a text.
And this was AFTER she msgd on tuesday about possibly going out because and i quote “My birthday is Thursday........ Im even oooooolder”
We have celebrated our birthdays together for AT LEAST 5 years. She KNOWS mines is the day after hers.....
I even ran around like mad on thursday to pick up stuff I KNOW she likes to put a little birthday/easter goodie bag together for her. Msg’d to see if she was still thinking about coming in… notta. no response. not.a.word.
I even posted pics of the presents my hubby got me (OMG HE GOT ME THE FLIGHT OF DRAGONS ON DVD BTW!!!!!!!!) AND what my MiL sent me from Australia.

And this might be petty, but the final straw was last night seeing her make a Happy birthday post on a FB post to a CELEBRITY..... but she couldn’t be bothered with someone who’s SUPPOSED to be her FRIEND.......
But yet, if I say anything..... WE’RE the ones that never have time for her.
Am I being petty? Cause it was the same thing last year......

sigh I’m going to bed.

Last updated April 06, 2021