Here I go again... in Riverdale

Here we go again

Once again I've been dropped from Life.

Not that I mind completely yet. I guess it hasn't sunk in yet.

But where is my fucking direction? Where is my potential going? I feel so lost alone pissed a bit that in life for the last few years I end up being alone lost broke directionless out of place

What makes it harder is the sense of isolation, the feeling of not being wanted or cared for. Not mattering because I have no "value" to this society or world.

I used to have a home. Not a very good one but I used to. Too bad life wasn't an episode of Friends.

Even my "Friends" seem to have more going than me.

What is the big problem. I just did a three month gruelling emotionally draining program only to get no where. Not meeting the right ppl or really any "good" ppl.

I'm back where I started.

Right now I can handle it. But later on I just don't know.

I wanna live a "life" to be honest I don't really care about money success really only good bonds and love with good people mostly that is what helps me achieve and feel secure in my life. But that seems so impossible to obtain. While this money and success thing doesn't seem all that hard given the right connections focus and drive operating independently of each other.

But I am not a person who can love off nothiness. No love no support no true bond no one to share my life with. Am I misguided? All ppl keep telling me is I need to love myself before anyone else can love me but I just seems like a fed line to me.

I mean who loved us before us? Our parents,siblings family. If they didn't love us how do we know what love even is?