On Onlyfans. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

This is a tricky topic to cover, as I am Sex Worker Positive. I believe prostitutes deserve to be treated with respect.

I only became aware of this site because of my activity on fetlife. From what I know, onlyfans is a site where you can pay girls to provide you with personalized pictures and videos of a lewd nature. Actually pretty smart, given the pandemic. Zero chance of being infected.

The problem is these girls advertising themselves. A picture followed by a caption of “See more on Onlyfans!” See a video followed by a caption “See the full length version on Onlyfans!”

And then there are the private messages. They preview/advertise themselves well. They will send a PM akin to “I saw you liked a lot of my videos. I can make a personalized one for you, if you would like.”

It has reached a point that the fetlife community is .... annoyed.

It is akin to stopping at a red light, and an attractive girl approaching your window and saying, “Looking for a good time?”

I wouldn’t be offended at all. (That’s just me, of course.)

But if every traffic stop had someone pestering my window, I WOULD get annoyed.

And I must point out something regarding prostitutes. (I sometimes forget just how many vanilla people there are out there. And how extensive my knowledge of various subjects is.) republicans would have you believe that guys seek out prostitutes purely for sex. That is… not always the case.

Loneliness.

Some guys pay for a girl’s time, and then just talk. Sometimes cuddling, sometimes not. Oh, there is a place for a proper therapist. But a prostitute? It is anonymous wordvomiting. You can tell her about how your wife left you, stole your truck, and ran over your dog. And there won’t be a follow-up session. She won’t be writing down notes. She doesn’t have your personal information on a file. She won’t be looking to find ways to advise you. All she has to do is listen.

For the same amount of pay, listening sounds preferable to being bent over and nailed. To listen, she would not require clean-up nor reapplication of her lipstick.

And remember, you paid her, and she probably assumed you wanted some form of physical contact. You can ask a prostitute for a cuddle with almost no fear of rejection.

Okay, back to Onlyfans.

I get it. You ask a girl to make a video of her grilling a cheese. She is smiling, looking at the camera often. Flashing various bits, and probably OOPS bending over. But, she made the video for you, and only you. You are alone, cramped in quarantine, and this girl shares something with you. It is intimacy. I get that. It IS intimacy that we all crave.

These girls are intelligent, or at least present themselves as such. Full sentences, proper spelling and grammar. It is not as if they hold up a sign that says CASH4NUDEZ.

Seriously, who actually fraks dumb chicks? Clearly some do, but I will never understand it. Girls with a high intelligence will probably have more lewd knowledge and techniques; or shear intuition of how to pleasure you.

I can tell you why Onlyfans does not interest me.

And I’m really not trying to brag.

Thing is.

I have lost count of how many friends have sent me lewd photos and videos. Have a friend, F, who would send me videos of her having coital interactions with her boyfriend. Unprompted. My feeling was “Oh. COOL. You got laid! GO YOU!”

I have an alphabetized archive on my external hard drive which I retrieved to Tina. I was scrolling through. Sure, plenty of safe-for-work shots. Lots of smiles or otherwise pictures that would pass the censors. And. Forgive me for internally giggling at just how many girls have sent me lewd photos.

And no, I have never shared any of these lewd images. Not online, not with friends. No. These are my friends, past and present. I will not violate their trust in me.

I don’t need pay-for-nudez. Sure, I enjoy casual commercial sex workers in media. But that a friend took the effort to set up a shot for me? That matters so much more. My friend L did a shoot for me and it is SO artistic.

No, it is not that I get sent lewd personal media on the regular. More me reflecting that all these girls, past, present, and future, trust me. I will not violate their trust.

That is intimacy.