Occupying time. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

It really annoys the crap out of me how much my moods seems effected by the weather. I just felt so terrible yesterday. I think... I may be able to be productive today. I have a long list of things I "could" do, so that if I feel myself unsure of what to do, I can pick from the list, rather than feeling like there's "one" thing to do. Because doing "one" thing can be rather stressful.

Della Minerva 8 hours ago Self-soothing is a bitch. Find a hobby, Timmy. I mean, don't get me wrong, I approve of undie pics. But maybe it's time to encourage some long-ignored interests? <3 Thornylivre 36 minutes ago Seconded, is there anything that you've always wanted to do but never gotten around to doing? I have a children's book that I want to finish, but I never take the time to actually sit down and work on it. Learning another language is on that list too. Do you have a list like that of things you'd like to accomplish? Might give you something to focus on that might also give you a sense of, "Yay! I'm doing something!"

I'm always at a loss for hobbies. I joke that my life is so incredibly boring and void of drama. I hear stories about friends of friends and I just scratch my head. How do people get themselves in such situations? My default response is to run. I just don't do drama. I get frustrated when people ask me, "What's new?" Why the fuck should anything be new? Do you REALLY want to hear about how I cleaned my kitchen or rearranged my dresser? There's rarely anything new about me or my life. Shhh, we know nobody cares about new undies if you're asked "what's new."

But hobbies? My interest in lifting comes and goes with my energy level. I'm not necessarily lethargic right now, but I have little desire to be physically active.

Oh my god, is that the sun? Next winter, I'm investing in a membership to a tanning salon. I hate that my moods are effected by something as simple as sunlight, but cooking in a cancer bed in the middle of winter is sooooo soothing when it's cold out.

So, on a good day, I have a morning routine which... sets me up nicely. As I mentioned, I've been trying sam-e. It recommends taking it a half hour before a meal. I read the box, and it has something to do with how the coating is designed so it gets absorbed lower in the digestive tract. The very first day, oh man, I had stabbing cramps while I was at work and I'm surprised I was able to feign working and ignore it. This is why I never argue with girls on their period. Because cramps suck. Anyway, the half hour lead time lets the supplement get past the stomach, and then the meal gets it pushed down further, I'm guessing. Haven't had a problem since I have solid food a strict half hour afterwards. My uh yogurt smoothie apparently isn't solid enough, hence the owwies.

On a good day, I like to take sam-e, wait a half hour, then take a multivitamin, fish oil, glucosamine and chrondrotin, and maybe a vitamin c. I'll have 2-4 handfuls of cheerios washed with milk, then wait another half hour before whatever actual food I want. Fish oil sometimes causes fish burps, which I'm used to at this point, but are something I like to avoid.

Makes me think, "I need this kind of latent routine for the rest of my life." I don't really have a going-to-bed routine. It's .. stressful, at least in my head, because I'm TERRIBLE with saying, "I'll be in bed by this time." If I decide, "I'm going to bed now." then bam, feed the cats, pee, in bed. That's two minutes, tops. I need to do something "before bed" that relaxes me. I don't know. It's hard to plan things like that, it has to come to me naturally, and become routine as a matter of course, not out of force.

It's just. So immediate. Every single day is a struggle. Sometimes merely existing feels overwhelming. I agree with Elissa that life would be so much easier if time didn't exist. If we weren't constantly looking over our shoulder thinking, "This much time has passed since I started this task." or "I have this much time to do this until I have to do this other mandatory task." The most relaxing moments are those when we aren't worried about time, and are just present in the moment.

I think.... I'll putz a little, then take a quick shower before pantsing and heading to BUY MORE UNDIES. Getting out of the flat will set the right mindset in motion.