Real Estate Tour in Will Fly For Food

OK, I know I have mentioned before that Huron is a shithole. I've also jokingly mentioned that my neighborhood looks like a scene from "The Walking Dead" So I did what I've been threatening to do for some time. I walked (then later, drove) around and took some pictures. First, the neighborhood in the general vicinity of where I live. This is almost exclusively south of my apartment. I need to impress upon you that I only ventured about ONE BLOCK in ONE DIRECTION to get all these photos. There are more.

This house is directly behind my apartment building. I cannot verify whether or not people live here. The pink trailer house on the left side is the one that has the pitbulls that I have contemplated shooting once or twice with my 9MM. (The pitbull guy actually moved out, thank god. I will not get eaten by a dog walking to my car)

This house started on fire a few years ago. A real weirdo was living in it, he had the sewer and water shut off and was going potty in jars and keeping the jars in a room. I think you can see the orange "condemned" flyer on the front door. Can't verify if anyone is living here.

People live in these houses. This block smells like a dead body when you walk or drive it. White house also has a notice that it shouldn't be inhabited in the front window.

This green one was actually for sale about a year ago. Unsure if anyone lives here.

This is directly behind our apartment building as well, I'm actually standing in front of pitbull's trailer. The big, white, barn-style one is apartments that people live in. The cops are there all the time. On the left side is the alley, which is full of banana boxes which are full of food. One of the older gentlemen who lives here gets food from the salvation army and brings it here so people who come by can pick it up if they need it. It's pretty routine to see people pawing through the banana boxes. The one with the tarp on the roof is also condemned. People live there.

Now onto the Real Estate Tour. These are for-real houses for-sale in Huron. All of them can be looked at by accessing the MLS in the Huron area like with realtor.com if you don't believe me.

This gem is just a few blocks from me. $27,000. PP included: tarp?

$109,900. Cute blue house with bay window.

The view from the bay window.

Oh my god. Do you want to spend 110K to look at that every day? I don't know what's worse. The falling down roof? The porch full of shit? The broken door held open by a propane tank? The broken windows? The general aura of disrepair? The children's toys strewn about the yard?

$84,000. 2 bdrm 1 bath. 2 car garage in back.

Overlooking... (In their defense the brown house isn't that bad) except it had like 4 Harley's parked in front of it and I FUCKING HATE LISTENING TO MOTORCYCLES. Motorcycle riders in general are inconsiderate assholes. Why do they have to revv their engines every 3 seconds? Why do they not wear helmets then drive like assholes? I have NO SYMPATHY when they get smeared on the pavement, except for the officer who has to squeegee them off. Last year during the Sturgis rally we had a guy on a motorcycle who was texting and driving (riding?) in HEAD TO HEAD traffic on the fucking INTERSTATE. He swerved through the cones into oncoming traffic and him and his passenger got schmucked. I mean, really, have you NO SELF PRESERVATION? But I digress...

These are the other two houses.
I can see the routine now. Every day... wake-up...stretch...look out your front window and HATE YOUR FUCKING LIFE. Pass.

This one isn't so bad. You see it and think, "Oh, cute little white house. Nice 3+ car garage. $137,500. But you see something out of the corner of your eye. Duh nuh. jaws theme begins ...

"WTF is that," you growl. Duh nuh. Duh nuh. Duh nuh.

DUH NUH DUN NUH DUH NUHDUHNUH!!! Your very own condemned, creepy as fuck building in your backyard. You go out to your car in the morning, birds singing, hot cup of coffee in your hand...and a group of feral cats chewing on a roadkill squirrel scatter- diving under the sagging porch. You take a deep breath, inhaling that smell of rotting wood and smile to yourself.

FUCKING PASS.

<3 Sarah