Sleep Tracking 2-28-21 in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

Time in bed: 11:30 pm to 8:30 am. Time asleep: 3-4 hours. Last time I observed before my first unconsciousness was 3 am. Well, at least that is earlier. Laying in bed gets boring after enough hours.

Zzzquil, Benadyl, and 2mg melatonin, and I NEVER had that drowsy feeling while lying in bed. Come ON. I have said so much in the past that zzzquil works for me. Gives me a wonderful haze while I’m lying in bed. I am so sick of taking hours to fall asleep.

And yes, I know Zzzquil and Benadryl have the same active ingredient, yet in the past the combination has been quite useful. Maybe tonight I’ll add nyquil and see what happens. Believe that has a different antihistamine to make you sleepy.

Felt kinda blank for most of yesterday. Feeling almost nothing. Numb. Not sad, for the most part. Only had a touch of sadz just before dinner. Went away after I ate. Only one meal, dinner, 4x omelette. I’ll try to have two meals today. Oh, and still no appetite yesterday.

Specifically stayed off social media yesterday and the day before. I don’t know, don’t feel like interacting. I don’t know what I’d say to anyone. “Hi, still not okay. Um. Sorry, can’t feel your positive vibes, and there’s nothing anyone can do - I gotta take action myself.” Would rather wait until I feel more receptive. As well, my creativity doesn’t feel active right now.

What’s interesting is that loneliness isn’t an emotion I felt yesterday. Well, until going to bed. But, that’s par for the course. Since last May, my emotions have dropped as soon as I go to bed, one way or another. Takes a minute to calm my “will I be able to sleep?” nervousness and clear my head.

Otherwise feeling like a hermit lately.

Had a very small moment of nervous hopefulness yesterday. That maybe I can pull this out. Nice to know my positive emotions aren’t gone. Had thoughts of what I want to do today, other than simply zone out and regain/recharge some spirit. Won’t annotate specifically what I have in mind, as it is always embarrassing to say you’re going to do something, and then not actually do it.