Finished in Musings

I finished my 30 days off social media challenge. Again, I’m not sure it was life changing necessarily but I now have very little desire to get on social media at all. I think I will tune in for certain creators videos, lives, or certain specialized content but other than that I don’t have much of a desire to create anything myself or scroll through mindlessly. The biggest downside of deleting Facebook is that some people still insist on putting all their information for certain events on there. I get that that’s the easy way to update people but it’s just irritating.

My anxiety is still ratcheted up to 11. This particular cycle has been awful. Bad PMS. Bad cramps. Heavy bleeding. None of that helps. Plus I still have Covid anxiety and lots of people in my town are anti mask. And insist on being right next to me at the grocery store. I signed up to possibly be able to get the vaccine this week but I am waiting to hear back.

We got together with my in laws this weekend. All was well and good until they wanted to play charades. That is NOT my thing. Never has been. I don’t really like family games in general but anything with a time limit and where I have to think on my feet NOPE. I’m a slow processor and I like taking my time in general. Not my in laws pace. My MIL, FIL and Nathan’s grandpa were all a little rude about it. Did the whole “oh you’ll be fine” or “it’s just for fun” or “you have to for the team.”

Yeah. No thanks. Don’t like being pressured to do things that I don’t wanna do. Thankfully all the siblings along with Nathan are nice and not the kind to pressure. We left anyway because I was so uncomfortable with cramps and heavy bleeding I needed to go home.

Speaking of pressure, my in laws were pressuring my kids to come to church with them. The girls stayed with them last weekend which meant they went to church with them but by no means am I okay with it being an every week thing. Their church is super conservative, anti gay, anti women being in leadership which all goes against our values as humans.

I haven’t talked about it here I don’t think but our youngest talks about having crushes on girls and marrying a girl one day. Obviously things can change and we aren’t putting too much stalk in it but I don’t want anyone telling her that it’s a sin for her to love another girl. The emotional manipulation when it comes to kids at church is just really weird and uncomfortable for me.

One day she will hear those things. One day they will make up their own minds what they believe about God and religion but I just am not comfortable with them going somewhere every week that teaches these kids of messages. My youngest especially believes in God and likes to pray which we are perfectly fine with. And I don’t need anyone telling this innocent child that God would love her any less because of who she loves.

I have had all these conversations with my parents but Nathan isn’t ready to have to with his. It’s irritating and I wish he would bite the bullet but I can’t make him be ready. That convo with my parents was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.