My Word for the Year...Better Late Than... in Everyday Ramblings

Hellebore. Kes was telling me yesterday that all the local nurseries are empty because everybody at home is gardening. There is a dark purple almost black one too and they are out in the yards right now on our last dry day before the sleet and rain and snow all start.

I am walking to the grocery with Charity a little later to pick up a few treats so I don’t feel deprived over the five days or so of what will most likely be icy streets ahead. I have plenty to keep me busy and out of trouble.

A few years back after my employer stopped paying for my Weight Watcher’s membership I connected with a lovely young dietician in the Midwest by phone and talked to her every two weeks for about 5 months. Eventually the benefit ran out. She recommended two things; that I get a therapist, which I did, who helped me through the insane last year at work and that I check out this book and idea called Intuitive Eating.

I got the book and the workbook and read about half of it and did some of the exercises but got stuck. I kind of sort of tried to follow the principles in the book. It is not a diet. It is a method to get back to our original natural eating patterns where we knew how much to eat, when, and what.

Last year there was an article in The Times, about the best food and nutrition podcasts and she recommended this podcast called Food Psych. The host, Christy Harrison has a master’s in public health. She is a registered dietician and a certified intuitive eating coach. She used to be a magazine journalist.

She has written a book called Anti-Diet and has just signed a new contract with Little Brown for another book.

She has a well put together online course called Intuitive Eating Fundamentals.

I signed up for it last week. She has a great team behind her and there are a lot of resources included in the course. Much better in many ways than the yoga courses I am always taking.

Lately I have been standing up against a big wall composed of body image issues and negative self-talk and I know this is going to help. I don’t really have anywhere else to go at 66 with my history of disordered eating and preoccupation with what and how I eat that I have had since I was a pre-teen.

I gained half the weight I lost in Weight Watcher’s back. I am lucky. 60% of folks that lose weight on a diet or “healthy lifestyle plan”, as Weight Watcher’s bills itself these days, gain all the weight back and more. If you dig into the actual science that is not sponsored by the extremely lucrative weight loss industry you will find that diets do not work.

No matter how much we want to believe, no matter how hard we try, no matter how much willpower we have (and I have a lot), no matter how this trick or this idea, or this worked for my friend or… the shiny new app or plan.

You are hearing this from a woman that has been so conditioned over her lifetime by diet culture and the manufactured ideals of exploitive capitalism that I feel like I would rather be dead than fat. How sad it that?

Of course, I believe in a diverse amount of movement to make our bodies strong and feel better. Of course, I believe in a diverse and enjoyable way of eating that provides energy and from which we feel good. And I believe in a wide range of sensory experiences.

But what, in a sort of revolutionary way, am I beginning to believe in?

Kindness.

If we are kind to ourselves, the rest all sort of takes care of itself. And…it doesn’t cost anything and does not require keeping track of anything.

The course is 13 weeks. The journey will be a wild ride as I face my body image demons and entrenched thinking. It is what I am doing. I don’t think it is what any of you need to do, but I would love to have whatever support you all have to offer.

I am most curious to see how this goes.

Last updated February 09, 2021