What About Now in Everyday Ramblings

This is from a solo walk yesterday. Mrs. Sherlock was tired, it was wet, and Charity wanted to make some volunteer calls. There is a Pacific Northwest vibe here even though last time I walked by this building with Charity, she said it had a European vibe. This building reminds me a lot of being a teenager in Seattle.

I did walk with Charity, a long one, on Thursday. And I Zoomed with Mrs. Sherlock on Wednesday and she also participated in my class that night, so I am checking in with my crew and am not completely isolated.

Like everywhere else, we are all alarmed about the more contagious variants of the virus. They are here although we don’t know how entrenched because we are not doing that much genomic testing. The focus has been getting health care workers and teachers vaccinated so the kids can go back to school.

Our case counts are down from the peak and there is some comfort in that, but they are way too high for any sense of ease or relief. I did walk round trip to the grocery last week and the young people seem to have acclimated to masks, but the distancing thing is not happening much. I get in there and back out in 10 minutes. Otherwise, I am still having my groceries delivered.

When I was hanging the pull up bar, I discovered that the doorframe was uneven based on the fact that my place is built into a hill. On Friday while I was looking at the lighting and the room waiting for people to join the floor class and I finally understood that the reason my chair looked a bit off to me in the camera was that the whole living area floor is slanted.

I know it is unreasonable to expect that the recorded classes would be professional quality, but it drives me nuts that I can’t crop the video easily to cut out the start and finish. I was looking for an alternative to cropping in QuickTime and brought the video into Photos and I was able to even out the floor through editing. Very cool.

Now all I have to do is figure out how to get the edited video out of Photos and into Vimeo. I find this constant having to adapt and learn thing exhausting. Particularly doing it on one’s own. It is why I am procrastinating on getting the website setup.

Last night in the spirit of procrastinating I watched The Dig on Netflix. Kes told me about it and I thought it might be something I could watch that was engaging but not too hard on the emotions. Even though it was predicable I enjoyed it and as with all of these types of things based on true stories a fun historic rabbit hole to go down. I loved the dresses.

There is no chance I am watching A Promising Young Woman.

I was trying to explain it to Mrs. Sherlock and Charity last week and they were like…why? Why would I watch that?

This week I am doing a mini course on Intuitive eating. I can’t go on indefinitely eating the way I have been, more for comfort than pleasure and nutrition. This feeling that I am completely constrained by outside forces in terms of getting what I need and want is also creating this “eat it while you can mentality”.

We don’t know when it is going to be safe to go to the store, or stores, whenever without having to do risk calculations but it could be many more months if not a year depending on the SARS variants.

I am not going to diet because anything that restricts us might work in the short term but not in the long term and I am done with all that. I still might check in with how much I am eating by tracking and for sure telling others what I weigh is helpful in terms of keeping me accountable but in the end I need to shift my focus and concentrate on the fact that what we are all going through is hard and everyone including myself needs a big serving of self-compassion.

Wisdom comes slowly and in fits and starts. It is not easy to buck the cultural and societal norms, no matter how unreasonable and exploitative they are.

But what the heck, if not now…when?

Last updated February 01, 2021