I may Actually have in Journal

  • Feb. 4, 2021, 11:05 a.m.
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underestimated how upset I made my aunt by pointing out the fact that she’s old. I think that I really hit a nerve when I told her that, while her opinions of me were valid, I didn’t see any particular sense in listening to advice about my future from someone who made bad choices and is now at the end of their life.
It’s one thing when old people- or just people in general- reflect on their life choices and give advice to the next generation based on earned wisdom. It is completely another when an older person wants to be taken seriously just because they’re old. And then gets upset when I point out that there’s no value in just being old. What else ya got?
I began to suspect that my elder Aunt has less value than I originally thought when she continued to badger me about politics after I expressly said “I’m not talking about this.” And, when I tried to bring it back to family matters- to be personal, empathetic, sympathetic, she spat that back as well.
I told her she was old- not in a mean way, I just pointed it out as a possible reason why I thought so differently than her-and she sent me 1) an immediate retort that she’s not old, and all the things about she cares about the future, and 2) a long and very critically harsh email telling me that I’m, lets see, anxious, nihilistic, on social media too much, aimless, need a hobby, should find a passion. And 3), this;
“I haven’t reread what I last emailed you, but it may have appeared harsh to you. I’m sorry if I misunderstood something crucial, or failed to follow up on something, in our conversation or in your emails…and I hope we can continue corresponding.”
Which to me seems like an attempt to apologize without apologizing. Or, as I humorously denote, the BNA. Bullshit Non Apology.

I think “how upset I made my Aunt” is taking too much responsibility, actually. She came at me swinging. Then played victim. Then came swinging again. And now she’s sort of… holding an olive branch? Idk what this is. It’s annoying, I can tell you.

I did respond. I didn’t say much, but I did soundly and roundly rebut her nonsensical argument about my quote interpretation. She told me that I was “puzzling and seems reductively literal.” Like, what? Is it not correct to take words at face value? chortle So I explained it for her.
And… idk why she seems to think I’m just sitting around being anxious on social media with nothing to do. lol. I have an 11mo, run a farm and a small business, read and write quite a lot and- AND- have been doing therapy to figure my shit out for the last 18 months. Like that’s not doing anything. I sort of reminded her of a few of those things when she asked where I bought eggs. Like, I haven’t bought eggs in like 8 years. In case you’d forgotten, I run a small farm and sell eggs. I also raise beef, dairy, pasture a shit load of chickens, pigs, ducks, turkeys blah blah and all the other crap. Meanwhile she’s like -I’m going to garden on my half acre, yay. Okay. Have fun diddly fucking while I feed like 4 families and raise my own. lol


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