well fuckaduck in Bittersweet

my drawer was 10 over. I literally cant understand how this happened because i could back change. to the dollar. I count back every dollar i hand over. Ive had people thank me for counting back as so many dont do it. So how did i get off?! Im going to get written up tomorrow for it.

One of the kids on the front end told me that she knows the manager hates me. My direct one that i thought disliked me. Shes all she hates you. She dislikes me, and hates you. D told me that when someone asked manager D if they were hiring, she said she would be very soon. While looking at D. Which dosent bode well for me OR her. I already know she dosent want to hire me on full time. Shes asked me at least 5 times if im sure. Well clearly she can hire for my full time slot that i was offered but paperwork was never filed so its not “my position”

And im new, i mess up. I clearly messed up on my drawer. Im getting the hang of it. Ive been there almost 3 months and i still mess up. Im trying and ive never given her a reason to dislike me, except maybe when i sobbed because i got written up. And im going to try really hard NOT to think when i have to sign this one tomorrow…Or ill cry.

It sucks, i had a really good day today. Manager D wasnt in ( her weekend) and wont be in tomorrow so thats nice so she wont make me sign it. It will be my hiring manager or the kid haha. At least if its him we will laugh and hopefully i wont cry.

I dont want this to be my life. I mean its stupid. I didnt much want to be on the cash drawer. I fuck up clearly. I worked hard to temper my talkative nature. to move fast, to look busy even when im not, im working on it. Sigh. Maybe im no good at working. Maybe im just stuck in the stay at home mom mode. Which frankly i loved. But i need to make money too. I need to pay off bills, i need to save. I need to help out. Even though T says we would be ok if im not working. I dont want the stress added in either. Im trying to make things better.