The Blue Bunny Ice Cream Man in Ai Tomfoolery

Context: The game is aidungeon. It makes up an interactive story, like a digital dungeon master, and you can type in any action or dialogue your heart desires because the adaptive ai will digest it and hack up the next chunk of story. Instead of playing under the premade characters and missions, though, I like to go under the custom setting and give it a sentence or two to work off of. For this story, I forced the AI into the real world and gave it an every day action to play off of.... Absolute hilarity ensued. It took 68 actions total to get to the end of the story, 65 of which I left blank so the computer would just keep going. You can see where I input my own dialogue because it starts with a “>”. Enjoy this robot trying hard to make sense of every day life! *

You buy the latest cheap magazine on your way out of the supermarket. You put your groceries in the backseat of your car and get into the driver seat. Before turning on your car, you open the magazine to page ten and see that it’s a sports section with an article about how some guy named “Johnny Football” is going to be playing for the University of Texas.

You then turn on your radio and find yourself listening to Rush Limbaugh.
You immediately change the channel and beat your head upon the steering wheel to erase the bullshit from your brain. You turn the magazine to page 18 and see that it’s another sports article about how some other college football player has been arrested for stealing a van. The police found him sleeping in the back of the vehicle while he was having sex with his girlfriend who was also asleep inside.

/>/ You say “Oooo. Sleep sex. Raunchy.”
You laugh at the silly antics of college students.
You turn the page and see that it’s a music section with an article about how Harlem’s new artist, A.Z., has released his latest single. You turn up the radio and listen to the song while you read the article. Its lyrics are about a guy who was left by his girl for another guy because he claims to be new to the game. You turn off the radio and exit your car.
You walk up to one of the supermarket’s automatic doors and stare at it in confusion. You press all the buttons you can see on its panel with no success.
You walk back to your car and get the latest cheap phone that you recently got just for such emergencies. You call directory assistance and ask for the number to the supermarket. You then call the supermarket’s main office and tell them that you are a Presbyterian pastor and that you need someone to let you in right away because one of their employees, a Mrs. Heather Hill, is in critical condition after choking on a piece of steak in the food court. You hang up after they tell you that they are sending someone to let you in.
You wait outside for a few minutes and soon an old man is walking towards you.
“Hello,” says the old man. “I was sent by the main office to let you in.”
“Thank you,” you respond. You enter the code that the man told you to use to open the door and you both walk inside.
“Wow,” you say as you look at all the fresh fruits and vegetables. “Your supermarket is bigger than my apartment.”
“Ha ha,” chuckles the old man. “Most things are bigger than your apartment.”
You walk around the supermarket with the old man and pick out all the items on the list. You notice that the old man is having a difficult time carrying two large bags of food and his walker at the same time so you offer to help him by taking one of the bags.
“Thank you son,” he says gratefully.
“The microwave in the manager’s office should be working,” he tells you. “You can heat up your lunch in there.”
You enter the code that the old man told you to use to open the door and you both walk inside. The old man shows you the microwave and hands you the Tupperware container full of chili.
“Thank you very much sir,” you say gratefully. “I really appreciate this.”
“No problem,” he says kindly. “You take care now.”
You wave the old man goodbye and press start on the microwave. You set it for 2 minutes to heat up your chili. While you wait for it to finish, you stand in front of the shelves with all the spare grocery items on them. You suddenly have an idea for a new recipe.
You walk over to the shelf and search through all the different types of food you see there. You pull out a jar of olives, a bag of tortilla chips, some canned chicken and an envelope of gravy. You smile as you walk over to the stove and turn on one of the burners.

/>/ You say “I sure hope this grocery store doesn’t mind that I am using their stove!”
You look around the office and see a jar of instant coffee next to an assortment of teas. You grab the jar of instant coffee and a mug from off of the shelf behind you. You fill the mug up with boiling water and put two heaping tablespoons of coffee into it, then you stir the coffee with a pen that is lying on the counter. You look around and see several different kinds of sugar.
You take three heaping spoonfuls of sugar and add it to your coffee. You stir it with the same pen and take a sip. It is too bitter, so you take three more spoonfuls and try it again. This time it is a little bit better. You hear the microwave beep as your chili is ready.
You open a drawer and pull out a fork from inside of it. Then you walk over to the microwave and pull out the Tupperware bowl. You open the lid, take out the fork, and blow on the hot food to cool it down a little bit. Then you sit down in the office chair and enjoy your meal. It is delicious.
After you are done eating, you put all your dishes back where you got them and decide to explore a little bit more of the supermarket. You walk over to the section of the supermarket that has all the greeting cards, stickers, and postcards. You pick up one of the postcards and look at the front side. It is a scenic picture of a bridge that spans two cliffs over water. You flip it over and read the message that is already written on it.
“Wish you were here! -Grandma”
The postcard shows a picture of a bridge that spans two cliffs over water on the front side. You decide to buy this postcard because you like it. Then you put it in your pocket and look around the store some more. Next to the greeting card section is a shelf of coloring books. They are only a dollar each, and they seem pretty well made. You find one that has dozens of pictures of animals, some of which you have seen on your trips to the national park with your mom. You buy this coloring book and then look around the supermarket for anything else that you might find interesting.
You walk up and down every aisle, but you cannot find anything else that sparks your interest. You aren’t surprised by this though, as you have never been one to spend a lot of time looking at all the different items in a store. This is a pretty nice supermarket though, and you can’t believe that it is in such an isolated area; you thought there would be no one here, but there are actually more people here than there were back in your hometown!
You pay for your postcard and coloring book at the front counter and head back out to your campsite. You leave the main road and take a different one than the one you took to get here. About halfway down the road you start to recognize some of the scenery. You walk down this road for quite a long time before you come across the bridge from the postcard. You stop and look out at the view and take in all of its beauty. The cliffs tower over you on both sides, creating a seemingly perfect barrier between you and the rest of the world. It is a very picturesque place. You take out the postcard and look at the front of it again. You set it down on the ground in front of you so that you can take a picture of it to remind you of this great place. You step back to get a good view of the whole bridge and think about how you want to frame the picture.
You hear a twinkle sound and turn around to see that your keys have fallen out of your pocket. You walk back over to where you were to pick them up, but they are not there. You look all around you for about five minutes, but you cannot find them anywhere. They simply disappeared into thin air! Those were your mom’s good cooking keys! You are going to have to tell her that you lost them when you get home.
You cannot afford to worry about that now, though, you still haven’t taken your picture. After looking away from the spot where you lost your keys, you turn back around and-
Your eyes widen.
Gone.
The postcard is gone. And in the place where it once lay are the keys to your mom’s car.
What on earth just happened? Who or what took your postcard, and who or what put the keys in their place? You start to panic. It appears that someone or something wants you to go somewhere, but where? And why?
You look around for any sort of answer, but find nothing. Maybe you are just overreacting. You have been under a lot of stress lately and need to unwind. Maybe you should just head back to your campsite and try to forget about this.
But then again… What if you really are missing out on something great?
It is up to you what you do next.
You return to your camp site, trying to decide what the best thing to do would be.

\o/ You really want some of that Blue Bunny ice cream…
\V/ *
You sprint back to the supermarket, leaving the postcard and keys behind for someone else to find. It is just about closing time, so you have to be quick. You run straight past the man at the front desk and look for the Blue Bunny ice cream. You find it fairly quickly; it is located right next to the freezer section, right where it should be! You snatch up a couple of those delicious-looking ice cream bars and try to find the checkout line.
You get in line and impatiently wait as the cashier rings up the purchases of the person in front of you. You look around and find that you are the only one in line. Score!
When it is finally your turn, you hand the cashier your money and wait for him to give you your change. He counts it out one coin at a time, and by the time he is done you have forgotten what he looked like. As you walk away, you realize that you don’t even know his name! How will you pay him next time?
You are so happy with your ice cream and your lack of debt that you dance back to the camp site. You run into a little girl along the way. “Hi!” she says.
“Hello,” you say, looking down at her. She is about four feet tall and has hair that is almost as long as she is tall. You can only guess that she is lost. “Do you know where you are?” you ask.
You expect her to say “home”, or “school” or maybe even “the moon”. Instead, she says, “The post office.” You must have a confused look on your face because she quickly explains, “I’m looking for the postcard I sent to myself. It has my baby picture on it.”
“Oh,” you say, not knowing what else to say. “Was it lost in the post office?”
“I don’t think so,” she says, “but this is the only place I haven’t looked.” She then walks off toward the side of the building where there is a stack of crates.
You continue on toward your camp site. You don’t see any reason to help her look, as it is obvious that she is old enough to take care of herself. Besides, you need to get back before your ice cream melts!
You arrive at the camp site and sit down to enjoy your treats. You were right: they are delicious! You have never tasted anything quite like it before. You look down at the wrapper; it says that it was made in New Jersey. You make a mental note never to throw out a Blue Bunny wrapper if you find one on the ground or in the trash, as it could be from New Jersey.
You have just taken your first bite of the second ice cream bar when you see the girl you spoke to earlier. She is walking up the hill toward your campsite. You swallow your bite of ice cream and stand up to meet her.
“I found it!” she says as she approaches, “but it’s not here. Someone must have taken it.” She looks up at you and realizes that you are eating some of that same ice cream. Her eyes narrow. “I know what you did! You took it, and you ate it! Give it back!” She reaches up and tries to snatch it out of your hand.
“No!” you say, pulling it away. You bite off another hunk to spite her. “Mm! Mm!”
“That’s mine! Give it back!” The girl pulls on the wrapper but you hold on tight. “My name is Heather, and I know my dad will believe me if I tell him you took it!”
You suddenly feel very angry. You know she is just some little brat telling lies, but somehow you can’t help it: you swing at her and punch her in the eye.
She falls down and groans. “I’m going to tell my dad on you!” she says as she crawls away.
You spit the ice cream out of your mouth and onto the ground. “I’m going to tell him we fought!” You spit again, getting all the nasty taste out of your mouth.
She crawls over to a cell phone that is sitting on the ground nearby and starts punching numbers into it. “I’m telling!” she screams at you.
You don’t want to be sent to jail for punching a little girl so you start running away. “RUN!” you say to yourself, “RUN!”
You run and run until you are back on the road. There are no cars coming so you cross over and keep running. You run and run and run. After a while you can’t run anymore. You walk for a few miles and then catch a ride from a lady going to town. She doesn’t seem to mind that you are all sweaty and dirty. She drops you off right in front of the sheriff’s office.
You take a deep breath and go inside. An old man sits behind a desk. He looks up at you over his glasses. “What can I do for you son?” he asks. You open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out! You are so nervous that you can’t think of what to say.
“I…I…” is all you can manage.
The man is looking at you expectantly. You take a deep breath and try again. “I was camping and I…” The man’s face begins to turn red. You have to think of something fast, but you are too panicked to concentrate. The man slams his hand down on the desk. You jump and finally stammer out, “I found a Blue Bunny wrapper in the woods, but I don’t know how it got there!”
The man stares at you for a moment and then bursts out laughing. He points at the side of his own head. “This is a sheriff’s badge, son. The thing on the other side is my skull. Now, how in the world do you think I can believe that load of horseshit?”
He pulls out a form and begins to write on it. “I am writing a report about this,” he says, “but I am also giving you a citation for disturbing the peace. If you do this again, you will be fined or even locked up.” He slides the piece of paper over to you. You look at it and it says, “Citation for Disturbing the Peace.” It has your full name, address, birthdate and a case number.
You feel like you are going to cry.
“Let this be a lesson,”
You nod. “I understand.”
“Good,” he says, holding out his hand. “Give me the Blue Bunny wrapper.” You take it out of your pocket and hand it to him. He writes down the time, date, and your information from your driver’s license on the citation form and then hands you a copy. “You can take that receipt back to the gas station and get your money back for the ice cream you never got to eat. I wouldn’t want them to think that we are harassing them.”
You walk slowly out of the sheriff’s office, tears streaming down your face. You had only meant to do something nice but it ended in disaster. You take your receipt back to the gas station and get your five dollars back for the Blue Bunny ice cream you never got to eat. You feel too awful to even eat it now.
As you sit on a bench in front of the police station, you pull out the card that Mr. Grouper from the Blue Bunny Ice Cream Company had given you in order to get your free ice cream. “Have a sweet day!” is printed on the front in colorful letters. You didn’t have a sweet day. You wipe your nose on your shirt sleeve, take one last look at the Blue Bunny card, and pitch it into the trashcan next to the bench. You’ve learned your lesson about taking things that don’t belong to you and you sure hope the little girl learned her lesson too.
You suddenly remember that you have groceries and a magazine in your car. You hurry out to the parking lot to put things away and then go find something to eat. You don’t feel like eating ice cream, but you guess you can have some of the other things you bought if you can’t think of anything else.
THE END
You’ve reached the “good” end of the Blue Bunny Ice Cream Man. This is the “true” ending of the game and there are no more choices after this one.

Last updated January 23, 2021