I'm Old... in Journal

I find myself thinking back to who I was 10 or even 5 years ago, and wishing if only I knew then what I know now… where would I be? I wonder. Certainly, not here.

All that to say- I bitterly wish I had had someone older and wiser than myself who gave a shit about me. I still wish that I could have that. It’d be super nice. Not just nice. It would take such a burden off of me- not just the burden of wandering around in this world unsure of what I can or should do- but the burden of being around shitty people who want me to fail.

I think about the decisions that I made, that ended up deciding the trajectory of my life. I never talked to anyone about them. No one ever asked. My decision making process was a mish mash of whatever causes the least anxiety and that seems like fun or I’m not going to save this, what am I ever going to use it for??

And now, I have a sort of internet dad, who I’m really grateful for. I’ve found philosophy- which is a very strange way to say, I’ve learned how to think. I always used to think that philosophy was very haughty tout y. It was just fun for intellectuals- but nothing real or really concrete ever came out of it. I suppose that was just part and parcel of my poisoning.
Now that I am far too old for any sort of redo on most of my critical choices in life- I have also cemented myself into this path by accepting the ethics. It’s the idea of Voluntarism that glues me to ethics.
You see, there are Voluntary relationships- like where you buy your car and who you marry- and there are Involuntary relationships- like who your parents are, or your siblings.
This may seem quite an obvious and ordinary distinction. And, it is. BUT. lol. Why are these 2 distinct and polar opposite classes of relationships treated exactly the same, ethically??

Because you see, where there is choice, as in a voluntary relationship, there is responsibility. And everything and anything that comes out of that relationship is necessarily a choice and a the responsibility of the participant. Even when your partner is abusive. Even when they leave you when you didn’t want them to. Even - blah blah, insert your narrative here-.
But when the relationship is unchosen- when it is involuntary- then there is no responsibility and certainly no obligation to fulfill any kind of bullshitery exploitation. In fact the one that chose for you to be in that relationship with them is fully and wholly (rightfully) at your mercy in terms of needs and responsibility. The most obvious example is the child-parent relationship. But, it also can be a citizen- government relationship.

I was, at one point, leaning centrist because I had a lot of sympathy for my friends who were complaining about being “oppressed”. Yet as I realize that they claim oppression, they are actively advocating for my oppression. “You should not have the right to deny me what I want” they tell me. They want to petition the government to force me to supply them with what they want. Force with fines, or threats, or guns, or death.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is evil.

I have dropped a few friends. Well, that word is misused on them. They were people who would use me for their own purposes. They were never friends to me.

It is philosophy that allows for clear, principled thinking. It cuts through all the bullshit and lays bare what the real arguments are. Can this principle be universalized? If not, it’s probably got no place in government. Can government be universalized? Well… not really, no. Unless every man is a Marshal.
If every man were a Marshal, everyone would self-govern, and government as a separate entity would cease to exist.