On Belonging in Everyday Ramblings

I think I’ve nailed the borders and placement on the page thing here finally. Thanks to Lyn and Wren, who wrote about how she did her fabulous borders on OD, oh, 4 years ago, and I squirreled that info away in my head. This is why I have no room left in my head and have to get very creative about finding ways to access other things.

Like how to spell the word denouement. Google was absolutely no help.

I resorted, gasp, to an actual book, my Oxford French Dictionary and hoped I would get lucky looking at words that start with the letter D and I did.

This weekend I have taken something like 100 pictures wandering around the neighborhood. It has been such a joy that it has been mostly dry (we had rain squalls yesterday) and the light has been marvelous. I have been posting them all over the place.

Today’s photo sort of exemplifies how I feel right now. I feel a sense of not belonging or fitting in anywhere. You can say many things about how unusual my relationship with Mr. Finch was but one thing I am fully beginning to understand is how somewhere early on, and then in all the ways that people learn to trust each other, we began to belong to each other.

And I never felt like I exactly fit into the disparate world of poets but I belonged to it. I am not sure if that makes sense outside my weedy brain.

I am thinking I may be having a bit of a spiritual opening here, not fun but necessary.

Family communication is getting better but the situation is still difficult and fraught.

We don’t know when my sister is having her surgery, she has been anemic and had to have a long blood transfusion last week, and her doctors want to see her protein levels rise before they schedule a date. She is very weak. Think too weak to hold knitting for more than two rows and you get the idea of how weak. She is happy to be home and be able to read but she can’t be alone for more than a few hours.

Miss E. is involved in a dance performance in three weeks that she has been working on for months and months. We are trying to figure out the mind-boggling logistics of who goes, who goes later, who stays where, how we go and so on with all these unknowns in play. And feelings. Lots of feelings.

It does look like Kes and I are going to go to the beach on Thursday together after all. I am so glad! We have been looking forward to this for a long time. Because of Sammy’s care needs I haven’t been anywhere in six months with nary a sleep over or a quick overnight escape.

Next life I am going to be so well looked after. I shall be such a happy well cared for pony running my days out with the herd on the steppes. Or maybe that was a previous life?

Well, whatever life, it is adjacent to this one and I can feel a warm wind in my mane and smell the intoxicating richness of spring in all its glory so very close.

Some days are better than others. Today was much better than yesterday. :)