The Vengeance of BIGGAYDAN. in The Official BIGGAYDAN Archive.

Our favorite homosexual male is casually sitting on the couch, watching television. There is a bag of Smartfood™ white cheddar popcorn slotted to his right. He keeps switching through YouTube™ channels, but nothing quite catches his attention long enough.

There is a quiet knock on his door.

He feels slightly annoyed, as this means he can’t eat Smartfood™ white cheddar popcorn.

His attention slightly goes to watch highlights of his Pittsburgh Penguins.

Then, there’s another soft knock on his door.

He groans. This means he has to put down his Smartfood™ white cheddar popcorn. After all, who doesn’t love consuming Smartfood™ white cheddar popcorn?

Dan arises from his couch and answers the door.

Dan says, “Oh you…”

He is about to say “Oh you asshole” but stops himself. Something about the face in front of him. Timmy doesn’t say a word.

Mr. Dan escorts Timmy into his dwelling. He senses that something is off.

Timmy’s eyes are downcast. He’s not speaking at all.

BIGGAYDAN remembers all the years of Timmy teasing him. All of it fades immediately.

“Dan… I don’t have the words right now.”

And that right there is how our favorite homosexual hero knows how serious this is. Just his first name, no moniker. Just Dan.

Dan tries to offer Timmy some Smartfood™ white cheddar popcorn, to no avail. Dan simply puts on some YouTube as background. It’s about four or five videos in when Timmy utters,

“She....”

Timmy can’t complete his sentence, his head going downcast again.

As a last-ditch attempt, BIGGAYDAN, he offers Timmy some Smartfood™ white cheddar popcorn. Timmy can’t even enjoy Smartfood™ white cheddar popcorn at this juncture.

Dan puts the popcorn aside. “I know we’ve had our differences. But this is not a side of you I ever wanted to see. I am Big. I am Gay. And I am most definitely Dan.”

Dan flexes his left wanking arm. He could definitely strike some damage if he was required to. Dan Stands before Timmy, cracking his neck, and shifting his shoulders back and down.

“Timmy, someone hurt you, and I will end them.”

Timmy won’t answer.

Frustrated just slightly, BIGGAYDAN exhales to calm himself. He finds a soft blanket and tosses it over Timmy. His eyes still downcast, Timmy wraps the blanket around himself.

“Timmy. It’s okay to ask for help.”

After a long pause, Timmy says a name.

BIGGAYDAN says, “I am the biggest and gayest Dan you have ever met. She is going down.”

Is BIGGAYDAN going to have to punch a bitch?

I am MAKING THIS UP AS I GO ALONG. And I have Major Kira Nerys purring on my lap, tending to me. Stay tuned? Poked enough, I might figure out how to finish this.

Last updated February 04, 2021