Crush in Journal 2020

I want him to notice me

I’ve been busy but today it came back. The feelings, they hurt me. I wonder if there’s just something wrong with me.

I wish we could have normal conversations. He didn’t even seem to care about my 1st acceptance or merit scholarship.

He doesn’t want a gift and clearly, he won’t stop liking those onlyfans women’s pictures.

I feel fat, I do body checks 24/7 now in desperation to hit double digits. Three is too much, one is not enough.

I saw a girl play around and drown a rat. I was shocked and checked the rest of the tagged side of Twitter, lots of blood and selfharn and infections.

I hope the rats okay. I think their gross but I wouldn’t drown one in a cup. A baby rat at that.

I saw a girl deep throat a guy. Very fast and really…weird for twitter. Oh well.