ugh in Bittersweet

why am i so fucking weird. Its like i have no filter and cant stop saying stupid shit around people.
group of people waiting at the front, we were dead slow, all employees, they are all kids and im the oldest one. And someone is all im in school for psycologoy, and the one kid goes so you know who is all crazy in the group, always one. And she said yeah. I said thats me, A whole host of pills keeps me sane.
Like why do i say that shit, Yeah its true but like WTF girl. What the hell is in my brain. Im not really crazy but yeah my life depends on my medication use.

Or like we were scraping tape up with razor blades and i said walking around holding them makes us look suicidal and the other ladies says i dont promise anything and i say im 2 years clean. Like who the hell cares that 2 years ago i tried to kill myself. Why the hell do i keep telling people shit like that. They already think im weird. I need to learn how to filter and i suck at it.

I guess doing nothing but raising kids for 16 years has kept my stupid brain absolutely hosed on how to talk to adults. Even though most of them are kids/teens.

People dont give two flying fucks the things that stress you out. Just because i ask and want to hear the answer, dosent mean anyone else does. Some how i need to learn how the fuck to shut up.