The night before in Journal 2020

I woke up today feeling dead. It’s like your entire body and mind hurts, it was really hard to deal with.

But god fucking damnit I felt so happy! Everything had worked out and I’m never going to be alone again. My throat felt sore from all the crying and muffled screaming that happened for what felt hours (was only like one).

I have been doing that almost every night.

I felt happy the entire day and I still do. All I can think about is how relieved I feel. I thought we where really going to break up and I kept crying and begging. I almost passed out multiple times, it was hard to keep myself together.

But as soon as he changed his mind I felt myself feel like a million dollars.