If My Heart Explodes, It Isn't Because of Romance in General Mental Anesthesia

Before I explain the title…

Happy Chanukah to my fellow Red Sea Pedestrians!

(That’s a Monty Python reference, get cultured!)

Boba Fetch’s first Chanukah!

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Ok, so this whole Covid-19 thing hasn’t had a big impact on my life, by which I mean, my daily existence is pretty much a quarantine job, and sadly, it’s been like this for years now.

In moments like these however, it becomes an issue.

I was put on Dilaudid by pain management. One week only at first, because the last time I had it, I died (twice). So we had to test the waters.

It wasn’t without complications, but I survived.

I was told to call back on Friday to get a full prescription, so I did, but no one picked up. I called, and called and called… No one answered (except for the 2 times someone picked up and then hung up on me).

I left a message. “I’ll be out of medication tomorrow, I need to speak with my Dr. Someone needs to call me back asap”.

No one called.

I ran out of Dilaudid yesterday.

You can’t just stop an opioid medication like that! It’s extremely dangerous; it’s life threatening!

Today, my breathing is shallow, my resting heart rate is fluctuating between the 130’s and 150’s. I feel like I have the flu, runny nose, I’m shaking (restlessness). It’s only been a week, but it seems like I’m experiencing withdrawal.

I know I could go to the hospital and I’ll be given the medication, but… Covid19 is running rampant here. Hospitals are packed, I’m immuno-compromised WITH respiratory disease. Covid isn’t survivable for someone like me, so I really don’t want to go the hospital even though I’m feeling absolutely miserable!

I want to be the knight; (yes, this is me)

I like being the knight!

I’m G-ddamned sick of being the damsel in distress!

Help the Damsel

I just have to survive the night… but my heart feels like it’s going to jump out of my chest!!!

ADDENDUM:

UPDATE: 12-14-20

My latest heart rate at 3pm today is better 116bpm (still high considering it should be in the 60s). But it was like this all night long…

I didn’t go to the hospital, but I feel worse. I have a blistering migraine, still feel like I have the flu, muscle aches etc…

The Dr. STILL didn’t call me! So I called them. (Pain management). Dr. wrote a 30 day prescription, but now Medicaid won’t cover it. WTF??? I just finished the same prescription! I’ve called the pharmacy, called the Dr. and it’s a waiting period.

It might be ready tonight or in a few days. Are you freaking kidding me???

I even asked if I could just get a prescription for a couple of days, but no… Of course not. Because who gives a shit about their patients in America?

I really need to get out of this G-dforsaken country!

Last updated December 14, 2020