I didn't ask in A Childhood Lost

for an apology. I didn’t ask for the impossible. I asked for

an open non-blaming conversation
for you to take responsibility for your choices and actions
for some form of connection, if you want it.

You balked, blamed, rejected, attacked, and gave me a lot of stuff I never asked for. Stuff that I don’t want. Stuff I never wanted. Actually, I told you that. And then you called me ungrateful.

You remain guilty, but blame me and take on the wool of self pity and victimhood. You want to deny your actions and choices, and deny responsibility. Okay; if you do that, you deny any capacity for a relationship with me. Or anyone. That is not a judgement passed by me. No! It’s just physics. If you drop the ball, you can’t toss it back. But, I’m also not waiting with baited breath for you to realize this, or to pick up that ball. Pick it up if you want. Come and find me if you do.

I have identified the parts of myself that you hurt. Irreparably, sure. Thank you for pointing that out, by the way. I know that there isn’t anything that will fix my damaged childhood. I didn’t ask for that.
I now have responsibility for those parts of me. You cannot do anything for them, Good or Bad. You’re talking to the one now responsible for them. You can, of your own good will, tell me what you did and why you did it, or you can deny that you ever had responsibility at all. The former would be immeasurably helpful to me, and the latter would be forever be an obstacle and a hindrance. All that is up to you, though.