Should I go Friends Only? in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

Should I go Friends Only on here? Not because I’ve received any added abuse or anything; simply because Essen’s husband is making his move. Something to consider. Oh, and as you read what follows, some interesting things to note

(1) Essen’s husband has previously bragged about raping a 12 year old
(2) He started dating his first wife when she was 15 and he was 22
(3) He has physically abused his children to such an extent that my DHS team “confirmed abuse” but did not “recommend for prosecution.”

So… I got Christmas Presents wrapped, drove over to Essen’s house and was putting them in her mail box so that I could text her, she could come get them out, and she could put them somewhere to give her children. Because it has reached THAT point that Chuckers is pretty openly threatening every man that has ever made contact with Essen in any way ever. He’s tricky. It isn’t entirely actionable. Under Iowa Law (because I actually won this case for Defense), if I am telling someone else “I’m going to kill these people” that is a threat the police can intervene on, but it doesn’t constitute harassment by Criminal Statute. So the police can go talk to the guy saying it; but can’t arrest him for saying it. That is what Chuckers is doing. He isn’t directly threatening anyone (which WOULD be a crime that could get him in prison for up to 5 years); he’s just telling Essen. Because it is a system of control. I tell you that I’m going to kill any man that you talk to, that means you need to stop talking to men.

So, presents in the mail box. But as I was doing so, Essen saw me. She was already outside, trying to get some distance from Chuckers and his chain smoking, heavily drinking, deluded as fuck, harassing ass. So she comes over and grabs the presents, I walk up to her car as she hides them there, check in on her safety, give her a hug and leave. That is everything that transpired.

When I get back to my house?

Messenger Bloop:
Chuckers: Come near my house again and I will attempt trespassing charges

Chris: Pursuant to Iowa Code 716.7, you must first tell me that I am not welcome or allowed. You have done so. Therefore, should I enter onto your property while you are present, you are within your rights to notify the police. However, if I am NEAR your property, what we call the curtilage, you have no rights to ban me from said space. Further, if you are not in your property or on your property and a member of your household invites me, I am lawfully allowed to enter. Also, any threats to my person or privacy are actionable. I would remind you of that.

Chuckers: Neat. Stay away from my kids, pervert!

Chris: You know, ironically, in a career that has rescued women from human trafficking, put child abusers in prison for 30 years, prosecuted sex offenders, and consistently works to protect children- I’ve been called much worse. By people that would follow through.

Chuckers: Good for you. I’m sure you’ve bought your way into heaven, despite your secretary fantasies and the other deviant perverted shit you have under your belt. Stay away from my kids.

Chris: You literally don’t know me. I wouldn’t be able to pick you out of a crowded room. Your opinion of me or anything means less than nothing. More importantly, there is nothing in this world that you can do to control me. If you need someone to hurl abuse at, knock yourself out. That is part of my job. But don’t ever think you matter.

Chuckers: I know a LOT more than you think! And I don’t plan on doing any kind of abuse. I plan on keeping my family safe and INTACT! And whether or I matter to you is no concern of mine. I will carry on and still sleep at night.

Chris: Good. Because, and I’ll say this with ALL sincerity, I have no romantic or sexual designs on Essen. (Say her name, she is a person not property.) I am in a place where I could use more friends. Hasn’t COVID been hard on everyone?! And as part of that friendship, I want her safe. I want her kids safe. I want THEM to be able to sleep at night. Your influence on that is something to consider. You’ve got really awesome kids, man, they deserve some peace in their life.

Chuckers: ‘I have no romantic or sexual designs on Essen.” ??? Could have fucking fooled me. But I digress. I want Essen and my kids safe as well. My influence on my kids has been nothing short of compassionate and understanding, not that it’s any of your business. I appreciate the nice things you said about my kids. I take pride in how they have turned out. I know full well how awesome they are.

Chris: (1) I don’t know to what you are referring unless you are hacking into conversations to which you are not a party. Care to confess to anything? (2) I do mean it. I am coming out of a fifteen year relationship and, word of honestly friendly advice, having friends to support you through something like that is worth more than any amount of money. Honestly! (3) I’m really glad you know how awesome your kids are. It is actually why I am kind of sad they can’t come over anymore. The way shy 3 of 3 would light up when playing with Nala… the way Nala would beg 2 of 3 to chase her for hours. Right now, my dog is my world and she knows good people when she sees them… and she loves your kids.

Chuckers” (1) Nope but thanks for confirming it for me. (2) Neat. (3) Good to know.

At this point, Essen texts me and says “Chuckers might be getting lazy in his bullshit with you as he’s gearing himself up for another hour of harassing me.

Chris: Well man… as I end up telling a LOT of people I prosecute- you’re entitled to believe what you want, whether it fits with reality or not. I’ve told you my peace. And I’ve tried to give you some honest friendly advice. In relationships, you CAN’T control the other person. If Essen leaves, she leaves. That’s why I’m encouraging you to find some friends, surround yourself with a support network. It makes all the difference. I hope you do sleep well tonight.

Chuckers: lol

SCENE

lol.
I’ll share a few truths with you about this as a post-op briefing.

(1) Essen has been SUPER apologetic to everyone about this.
(A) My response, honestly, is “I do this for a living; I would have no honor if I was not willing to do this for a friend.”
(B) Victoria and Remus’ response: “We’ve watched your kids grow up. Turning our back on you, is turning our back on them; and we’re not going to do either!”
(C) There’s just ONE thing, ONE THING, that is keeping all of this going. And it is frustrating to me. And is THE reason I haven’t told Essen “You don’t need to apologize.” There is one, and only one, thing that keeps Essen a prisoner in that house. 1 of 3. She knows if she leaves, 1 of 3 is stuck with Chuckers as her only parent. And Chuckers doesn’t even fucking take care of himself. So she is, understandably, afraid for 1 of 3. BUT HERE’S THE RUB… no matter what happens… the outcome is the same. Chuckers, the unfit ass, will have custody of 1 of 3. Until he actively does something so bad that my team can move in… that’s just the truth of it. By Essen remaining in that house, remaining to be controlled by Chuckers’ bullshit… she is subjecting herself, 2 of 3, 3 of 3, and all of her friends and support network to Chuckers’ bullshit, too. I love 1 of 3. I bought her the exact same book I bought my niece because I care about her that much. But there is some easy math here that is intentionally being ignored. AND I GET IT, Parents of Prosebox. I theoretically conceptualize the difficulty. But this is war. This is battle tactics. This is survival strategy. The sanity and safety of YOU, TWO OF YOUR CHILDREN, and YOUR ENTIRE SUPPORT NETWORK… or sticking around for an extra month or two for 1 of 3 since both of her parents suck?

(2) My COVID bubble was genuinely impressed with how I handled Chuckers.
(A) Keep in mind, they don’t normally see my writing style
(B) They mostly know me as the unsure, somewhat insecure, mostly monogamous, touch starved friend that still asks permission for hugs.
(C) So, seeing In Writing semi-Lawyer Chris was something for them.
(D) THAT BEING SAID… I’m actually a much better lawyer than what the above would suggest. What I had up there was strictly a “spontaneous, spur of the moment, trying to get through this” kind of thing.

(3) Here’s the big Weakness Headline.
(A) I have a chronic pain condition. We know this.
(B) Part of how I cope with that pain condition while maintaining as normal a life as I can, is that I constantly dedicate a certain amount of energy to simply “dealing with that shit.”
(C) In court or in life, like tonight, when I am caught off guard… this poses a problem. Because caught off guard? My brain calls up ALL THE RESERVES. If there is energy in the body, it is being demanded by the brain. To the point where… about ten minutes into the above? I couldn’t use my legs. The energy typically used to keep me ambulatory and out of pain; was being used by my brain. NOW… if I score a few victories, the Emergency is over and my body goes back to “Okay, everybody… thanks for coming out to show your support but you can go back home now!” It’s just… this is who I am. lol. People who say Mental Fights aren’t as demanding as Physical Fights.... dudes, my body doesn’t distinguish. You come at me physically, my energy goes into the body… you come at me mentally, it goes into the brain. Either way- I’m going to feel the pain.

Last updated December 10, 2020