Happy Oyster - 20.04.14 in Your Face

Went to Graham's house last night to hang out with Heslop. It was nice. It was just the three of us, and we ordered complicated pizzas, made stupid jokes, and watched Hot Tub Time Machine.

I am trying my hardest to get over this flu by making sure I spend plenty of time lying down, rugged up in blankets, and napping. I'm just not sure it's working, though. I still feel fairly rotten, nearly two weeks since being struck down. I joked last night that quitting smoking is what did it, considering I have had 3 migraines and a (nearly) two week illness in the whole six weeks since I stopped smoking. I'm sure that it's linked, but I couldn't tell you why. Hopefully this is the last of it.

I've gotten over losing that $80. I only mentioned it in here as a way of shaming myself, and that has worked. I love gambling, as I love smoking, but both of these things are bad for me, and I can't afford them. So, I have to be realistic. I have been doing quite well with keeping my expenses down, so I'm annoyed that I threw away $80, but it's done. The next time I feel like having a flutter, I'll remind myself of that.

I'm lonely. I'm really jack of sleeping alone, of not having M to share things with. Meals for one, etc. I'm still missing the dog, especially when I'm unwell and wanting my fuzzy little friend, the one who is willing to snooze in bed with me all day, snuggled up against me. He knew when I was having migraines, and would refuse to lie down, and would sit up next to me, watching my face. Such a sweet dog. I can't wait to see him again.

I'm just so unhappy here. I commented to someone the other day that, had I not ended up with M and consequently moving to America, I'd have moved somewhere else anyway. I'm not sure where that would have been, considering I only speak English and an extremely small amount of Mandarin, but it probably would have started in the UK, on the basis that it's easy for Australians to get working visas there. I loved China so much, and was so comfortable there, but I don't have any skills that would make it financially viable for me to work there.

Anyway. None of it matters any more. Fate is taking me to America, and there's just no way M and I would consider moving countries again, so I'll just have to be content with holidays. And I do love America, I find it so much easier to afford, the living costs are far more proportionate to the wages than they are in Australia. There are assholes everywhere, but at least you can go to the pub for a drink and not have someone want to punch your head in.