On Cats. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

About two weeks ago, Alice adopted me. I say she adopted me because she literally just walked in my apartment like she owned the place. I apparently was identified as Daddycat. FEED ME. PET ME. SCOOP MAH POOP. She is right next to me at this juncture, purring her adorable fur off.

I already had three cats.

Kira and T’Pol are my oldest. Adopted them August 31st, 2012. They were eight weeks old. While my Ex was there a lot, it ultimately came down to me, as they were in my room. I lost a bit of sleep as they would chase each other around the room in the middle of the night. I remember scruffing them, plopping them on their back, and politely begging them to calm down.

Would not exchange that experience for anything.

Wifenado didn’t entirely believe me when I told her that Kira is the best cat ever. As, she is rather adversarial and uncomfortable in new situations. Huh. Sounds like me. T’Pol is more food-oriented. When I first moved here, Kira would hide in the closet and miss food call. T’Pol, never.

Over two years ago, we got Lolo. It’s all a blur. A neighbor had heard that we like cats. They were moving, and could not keep their cat. As a sucker for cats, I couldn’t say no. Mr. Boi spent the first few months hiding behind a dresser. Hissy and angry. Even cutting his balls off didn’t help much. His calming down correlates with the absence of my step-daughter. I’d swear there is some russian blue in him, as he has shifted from my Wife to me. As well, he is a total sub to my girls. They’re downright abusive at times.

Never any blood. Just hissing and growling and swiping.

Which brings me to Alice. I’d seen this cat around. Friendly. My next-door neighbor and her granddaughter were petting her, so I assumed she was theirs. Nope!

I was in the process of bringing in groceries. And BOOP, Alice just waltzes in my door like she lives here. Having three cats and wanting to avoid a fight, I immediately tossed her in the back room. Called my local vet. She didn’t have a collar on her, but she could be chipped.

Nope. She’s clean, but unchipped. I made another appointment to have her spayed. She is a very energetic, curious cat. If she decides to run, well. I have done my Bob Barker part to help reduce the pet population.

Kira, T’Pol, Mr Boi, Alice. I do love my cats. But.

Please don’t give me your cats. INVENTORY IS FULL.