74 goals in These titles mean nothing.

  • Nov. 21, 2020, 5:07 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

  1. Resubscribe to New Yorker.
  2. Read New Yorker in the bathtub.
  3. Read the poems in the New Yorker.
  4. Write a letter to someone once in a while.
  5. Never buy another book.
  6. Organize my books.
  7. Get rid of some of my books.
  8. Win sudokus.
  9. Strew Joana.
  10. Walk away from everything.
  11. Walk away from something.
  12. Remember the good things.
  13. Decide what to do with my wedding ring cum mother’s engagement diamond.
  14. Straighten up the artificial flowers that used to be on the refrigerator but now are stuck through the hole in the metal umbrellaless umbrella table on the deck.
  15. Evaluate sentimental attachments.
  16. Learn my mother’s version of Hail Holy Queen.
  17. Throw out my piano.
  18. Figure out money.
  19. Figure out taxes.
  20. Figure out inheritance.
  21. Take my newspapers to the recycling place.
  22. Keep up on my laundry.
  23. Keep up on my dish washing.
  24. Clean the bottom of my refrigerator.
  25. Teach the whole population when to use the word ‘seen’.
  26. As opposed to ‘saw’.
  27. Move to France.
  28. Get the lost silverware back from behind and beside the range.
  29. Dust.
  30. Knock down cobwebs.
  31. Find my little square paperback Bible.
  32. Get back my loaned copy of Richard Ben Cramer’s What It Takes that has Biden’s autograph.
  33. Count the folding money in my wallet.
  34. Cut my toenails from time to time.
  35. Keep my coneflowers alive.
  36. Worship at the altar of the walnuts.
  37. Hold onto the farm.
  38. Hold onto the other farm.
  39. Die at peace.
  40. Remember those who need to be remembered.
  41. Get the mail.
  42. Buy stamps.
  43. Banish regret.
  44. Banish revenge.
  45. Banish guilt.
  46. Get food from Lid’s tonight.
  47. Experience Yellow River Forest.
  48. Appreciate the grandchildren.
  49. Keep Gracie happy.
  50. Hold onto the past.
  51. Appreciate the present.
  52. See the future.
  53. Worship the earth’s rotation’s evidence, AM & PM.
  54. Avoid Covid.
  55. Wave at people.
  56. Smile at people.
  57. Appreciate people.
  58. Appreciate.
  59. Sleep a lot.
  60. Make myself happy.
  61. Write from time to time.
  62. Organize the truly millions of words.
  63. Be a good person.
  64. Hold this moment.
  65. Forgive the cat.
  66. Forgive everyone.
  67. Swat flies.
  68. Tie my shoes.
  69. Put wood in the stove.
  70. Listen to WPR.
  71. Eat tuna sandwiches.
  72. Throw away the right stuff.
  73. Keep the right stuff.
  74. Know the difference.

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