There is something in Journal

about grandparents demanding the time and attention of their grandchildren that strikes me as… vampiric.

I told the in-laws that we don’t feel comfortable spending time with the BIL and his BM. I said to MIL that their “parenting” was wanting, more or less.
She didn’t seem very concerned about it, herself. Of course, she’s had 5 years to be concerned and has done piss all about it. While her grandchild never eats anything but Cheetos, fruit juice and soda, gets all his teeth filled because they’re rotten, and spends hours a day in front of the t.v., she does nothing.
“There’s no parenting manual except for the Bible.” she told me.
“They’re doing the best they can with his unique traits.”
“If you have suggestions about how to better do things, you should talk to them about it.”

All this just made me very angry. Still no concern. Maybe I’m wrong. I don’t know. But I can’t sit around and watch people ruin their son’s life for no reason. It is distressing as hell. It makes me so angry. And I can’t in any good conscious expose my child to that.

What perhaps is worse, at least to me because it’s my goddam son, is that BM has said aloud that “her son would be taken care of by his cousin, and all his other cousins.” And that pisses me right off.
If she thinks that there is any chance in hell that my baby will ever have to feel responsibility for her shitty parenting, she is sorely and horribly mistaken.

MIL wants bonding time with all the family there together. She wants a big, happy family. She doesn’t want us to miss out, and doesn’t want to do 2 of everything!
Jesus Christ. I guess if she wanted a big, happy family, she should have done something about her other son’s lifestyle going to hell in a handbasket, talked to him about the risks of knocking up a druggie party girl, smoking in the house/car/everywhere with an infant, gotten him help and resources during those crucial first few years of life.
But, no. She let her grandson have whatever shitty kind of infancy that 2 smoking, partying, carefree, irresponsible people felt like giving him.
I mean. If she gave them the same kind of advice and knowledge and resources that she offered me and my husband through our pregnancy and newborn stage. That would be zero.

So. I can understand where she’s coming from. She hasn’t given her first grandson the time of day where it counts. She probably hopes that MY family is going to lend some kind of normalcy and good wholesome support to the BIL’s broken family system.
Sorry, but nop.
I am not going to let her suck the health from my family like some disgusting old rotten corpse gasping for a transfusion.
It wouldn’t help anyway.