The Obvious in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

I hope everyone enjoyed their Full Moon Extra Hour Halloween!

I spent mine with a family I was friends with in High School. Cool to catch up… see how they are, see their kids. My facebook feed was almost entirely “Babies First Halloween!” as so many of my peers have had babies in the last 12 months. SO many. And as we were discussing children and houses and being adults; I was going through my photos on my phone to show them Nala’s growth and activities and the like. And as I got to the end of the photos, there were many of Nancy. In Hawaii, or at the Convention, or just hanging at my parents’ house. And I don’t know why it felt like a profound thought but it did… I though, profoundly, “I did love her. Honestly. Truly. Completely. I did love her.” And throughout our marriage, I was true to that. And from her perspective, I can imagine that was something worth pursuing. “This is a good man that loves me. That’s enough reason to marry him.” So I can kind of let go of the anger. But not the hurt. Because at the end of the day, it doesn’t change things. All it says, as it has always said, is that I was a loving husband in a marriage where my wife didn’t love me or consider me.

I have no idea why there was any feeling of profundity in any of that. just struck me