Bad Wolf in Current Events

I’m just abusing my Prosebox privileges. My brain will implode if I bottle everything up. Speaking of bottles, I haven’t craved a drop of alcohol during all of this. Can you believe? Of course, who isn’t to say that a neurological collapse is not imminent? I sound like I have a drinking problem, I don’t. I reserved a truck, I start packing my stuff up today. It won’t take long. I load up my storage locker on Friday. Leanne is ready to let me stay in her spare room, temporarily. It’s not ideal. She has a family. That deal has not been set in stone quite yet but that is what it is adding up to. When I was looking for bedrooms that were being rented out I noticed that the prices were sickening. They were better than in most cities I’m sure. They were all near the university. Of course, employment would help. I need an address for a job and I need a job to have an address. Of course, I could tell a white lie. I’ll have to start throwing my resume around on the other side of the city soon. Assuming that is where I’m going to be. I need to rush out of that living situation, Leanne’s. I’m a little disappointed that Toni has no regard for my situation and is leaving me out to dry. She led me on about moving in together but kept sabotaging the effort because she did not want to communicate to me that she was not confident that I could keep a job if I got one because of COVID. I hate counting on people. I saw this emo whiny post yesterday, the thing about putting everybody first is that you teach them to put you last or something like that. I don’t need to commit to feeling jaded. I really want to though. I want to ghost everyone. I don’t think I owe them the peace of mind that they want. They want to know that I am okay so that they can feel better about abandoning me. I don’t want to give them that. I want to take the low road and I want to hold a grudge. I want there to be hard feelings. That is the dark and twisted side of me coming through. I want to let my demons come out and play… god how emo of me. lol. Speaking of emo, I produced a list of sad songs for someone that asked for one on FB last night. Am I okay? Am I 16 and full of angst again? lol