Doubt in Current Events

Well, call me Caitlyn I’m triggered. Not literally but a friend shared a post that had an image of a man crying in his car. He took his life shortly after that image because he had no recourse for his family when he was laid off from the COVID response. He ran out of money and their benefits over in Bristol were too far away from coming in and he did what some people have been doing in response to these desperate times. Those are the thoughts I keep having to push away. So embarrassing.

I spoke with Kyle, it didn’t occur to me that because he and Evan are not dating that means their spare room is no longer a spare room. They’re obviously not sharing a room. They haven’t been able to separate financially because of the COVID response but they’re at least on good terms. However, I would literally be crashing on the couch. That’s one couch for the upcoming couch surfing saga. I will see where Leanne is at with her offer. She’s on the other side of the city and lives with her husband and two children. I’d share a room with her husband’s grow-op. (He treats his PTSD with pot). I’ve been trying to not feel jaded but the more I think about our interaction the more I feel jaded. Why did she bring it up? Is my question and the answer I come up with is that she only wanted to throw my situation in my face to hurt me. I could be wrong but my old habit of spinning narratives that aren’t there is making a comeback. The world is not out to get you Tom stop being a big bloated bitch.

After I toss my stuff in the storage locker I could just buy a one-way plane ticket out of this province. Just go anywhere. Of course, I don’t know where I would stay. I could look up ads of rooms for rent and just take a gamble that I could find something before my funds run out. Ha! I could never. Blah, the stress is starting to sink in. I’ll see if I can manage a run tomorrow in the cold and just throw on the Twenty One Pilots Blurryface album and burn off my adrenaline. Maybe some answers will come to me. I don’t care about Chris Pratt enough to follow his career but I saw that he is being cancelled right now for declining an invitation to appear at a Biden fundraiser. He was homeless in Hawaii before he made it big. Just a random thought I had. This entry was nothing to do with anything lol.