Dolls for Boys in Journal

Oh my goodness, my son’s waldorf doll just came in the mail and I am In Love with it! It’s just so cozy feeling- stuffed with wool and made with high quality cotton, by hand-! Yes I did splurge on it but no where near what I could’ve spent. I bought him for pennies on the dollar compared to buying one new- saw someone reselling a 1500 dollar doll. poops self
I’m just fascinated with it. It’s such a different type of toy to anything I had when I was younger. I had dolls, but they were utterly uninteresting to me. This one though is amazing. Full of character and interest. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s made of high quality materials- so the feel is totally different, or the fact that it’s hand made- made-to-order, in fact, so it’s the only doll like it in the universe.
I only had barbies, or the occasional baby doll that had eyes that closed when you tipped it. Here I am poking at this doll’s rusty red hair and staring at his perfectly painted freckles. I’m struck by his lack of a name, and really feel that he needs one. I think he looks like a Charles.

I did buy my son a different doll for now- they’re called cuddle dolls and are safe for infants. It was still handmade and made-to-order, but much more affordable than a true dress-up type doll. That one is still in the mail. As, obviously, it had to be made.

My philosophy has changed quite a bit surrounding toys after reading about Montessori and Waldorf philosophies.
At first, I thought, I would buy exactly zero toys for the child. He can play with random junk around the house, I thought. No reason to buy things for a baby- he won’t remember anything anyway!
Well.
I’ve changed my tune, apparently. I am amazing by his intense focus on things- his ability to inspect, to experience, to really immerse himself in the thing of interest. It began to dawn on me that, this is the time to expose him to beauty. This is the time to present him with lovingly made things. This is the time when his appreciation for things is exploding. Why not feed it?
I’m not talking about materialism, here. Perhaps, it’s really just the opposite. A toy lovingly made from quality materials, carefully chosen for it’s ability to support development, is something that can truly be a lifelong teacher.
The first thing I bought was a set of organic wooden rattles. I bought them months ago, but he still loves to play with them. They were, admittedly, on deep discount and that’s probably what made me say “okay, fine”-! But since he’s really been continuously interested in them now for… 3 months? No, 4 months! How time flies. I think I’m convinced that a few well chosen toys can help keep focus and interest rather than feed the pathological discard the old and find something new mentality.
I chose to buy a pikler triangle, most recently. My son is already sitting up, creeping, and starting to crawl. The other day he pulled himself up on the triangle, so he’s not that far from exploring it fully. I chose the triangle because we live in a temperate climate where it may be too cold or the weather might be too bad to go outside. I am more a fan of being outdoors, but sometimes it’s just not in the cards.
So the triangle should serve as a nice indoor playscape for him during those cold winter months that he’ll be in the developmental stage of pulling-climbing-crawling-scrabling on everything. PLUS. The thing is so well constructed that I have a mind to convert it into the ladder for an outdoor playground at some point. For now, though, I can see it being used for so many things I hadn’t thought of when I purchased it. A fort. A cave. Hammock hanger. Bed. A desk. Reading nook. I’m sure the boy will come up with more creative things than I.

And then, I decided that he needed a doll. I was reading about the child’s need for comfort- especially in these early years. I can’t always be there with him, comforting him. And, I don’t think that would be advisable anyway. The entire goal of the child is to become independent of the mother.
I read about the benefits of dolls- especially as characterized by the waldorf perspective, and decided that yes, I would spring for a doll. Well, 2 dolls. One for now, and one for when he’s older. The cuddle doll is mostly just a warm feeling figure to hold- it really has no features except for vague nose, mouth, and eyes, and the dress-up doll, which is a person form with a definite body, arms, legs, and has wool hair and so isn’t safe for the infant stage.
I’m still nonplussed by the argument that boys can’t have dolls. Even when I was researching/reading, the argument came up. Get your boy a teddy or a stuffed dog instead, they said. I thought, but why?
Then, I watched a documentary about transgender children, and their (the documentarists’) arguments were abysmal. I watched one mother literally say “he liked dolls and the color pink- and that’s how we knew.” Yet. “Gender stereotypes are uninformative.” Goddam people. Pick one. Preferably the one that doesn’t harm your child.

Anyway. I also decided that play silks will also be a good idea. When he is older, of course. I think I will experiment with dying silk for now- because the things are so damn expensive. I can make one for $8, but online people are selling them for 20 to 40 dollars. Egads.
I’m still mostly excited about this doll, though. I want to learn some sewing skills making doll clothing so that maybe eventually I can made the boy things to wear- or DH.
Probably DH needs my skills worse. He’s so difficult to fit, and his tastes in clothing are… eclectic.
Yes. I need to learn to sew. What a lovely excuse!