More Personal Entry in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

Well, shit.

My pain levels are pretty bad today. And my voice is going. But considering what’s going on in the office for the next two weeks… can’t be sick, can’t get sick. So we’ll just push on through, won’t we.

But you add in this… weird… I’m starving. Like… I am super hungry right now. And due to Attorney Injury (several cases) and Attorney Over Scheduling (several cases) my morning has been essentially cancelled. But I still have depositions later.

I did not clean as much last night as I wanted to :(

I should be working on… something right now. Like charging documents or a notice to the court or prepping for trials that happen Thursday or prepping for trials that happen NEXT Thursday...... but I’m not. I’m sitting here… bored… trying to ignore how much my foot hurts right now (damned abrasion)… I mean it is healing quickly as all my wounds tend to. My skin may not have the best complexion but legitimate wounds tend to heal and not scar so I’m thankful. It’s just my innards that suck. HA! How appropriate. Maybe that’s the Faustian Deal in my past. Wishing to be an actor, I requested that my skin never suffer permanent damage and in return, all the damage would be experienced by my internal systems.

And Fate protects me too much. Just got a couple of phone calls. The very things I wasn’t doing? Attorneys called me and said they’d handle it and send over for me to review. So… the work I should have been doing, gets done, and I don’t have to do it or get in trouble for not doing it. I mean… I get it. It is absolutely how our system works and it isn’t like I’m taking advantage of anything per se but it’s a bit odd. Reading some old entries and… 3 years ago, I was in California and worrying about making sure I could wrack up some billable hours. Now it’s not even noticed if I got anything done all day.

Silly funny pointless thing? I think I’m going to actively attempt to avoid texting Remus, Victoria, or Essen today. I’ve not offended them or pissed them off and I’m certainly not sick of them. Nothing like that. I just… I texted them a bunch last night and just think it best. Like they were actual conversations, so not me texting them a bunch alone. Even got a fun flirty message out of it from Victoria. And a really powerful “thanks for your friendship” kind of message from Essen. But yeah. The things I absolutely need to do without delay after work
(1) Walk dog
(2) Clean Kitchen
(3) Clean Fridge
(4) Trash and Recycling to Corner
(5) Prep for tomorrow’s DM trip (redemption in trunk, shoe lace comparisons, backup pair of glasses)

Thing I need to do for work today?
Deposition. That’s it.

OH yeah, I should go to the store on my way home and grab some energy drinks and gauze. Energy drinks so I can actually power through and do the damned cleaning up; and some gauze to wrap my foot for Nala’s walk tonight.

Oh cleaning. IF I could ever find someone, I would probably only need them less than once a month but it would be such a good damned investment. That being said… other people in the area have been looking with no luck either. And when I type it in to Google- I get recommendations for Maid Services in North Carolina. SO… probably a bit of a travel issue there. I did find one possibility that might be promising. But… oof! I mean… getting a local stranger into my home? That’s… a very hard step for me. Because I have to (1) trust that they won’t steal from me; (2) trust they won’t attempt to harm me in any way; (3) trust that they don’t use illegal substances; (4) trust that they haven’t been convicted of a crime; (5) trust that they WON’T be convicted of a crime; and (6) hope to God that all of those same standards apply to their friends and family. Because access to The Prosecutor’s Home? Shit, if I was a bad guy with unfettered access… I’d have three plans to fuck with that dude already.
(1) Find a place that he doesn’t go to very much. As a cleaner, these places are obvious because they are stacked mile high with dust. IN THAT PLACE find a hiding spot of some kind. Plant massive amounts of drugs. Call the cops with an anonymous tip.
(2) Identical to the first plan, but if you REALLY want to ruin this guy… do the same but with Child Pornography.
(3) Let’s say that my girlfriend is the cleaner and I am a violent offender. Even if The Prosecutor is home when she cleans and doesn’t give her unfettered access, she can tell me a pretty good layout of the house. Which entrances are furthest from the bedroom, which area of the house does he spend the most time in, all the information I would need to kick his ass or kill him.

These are things that go through my mind. So, yeah. Getting a local stranger into my home is a very hard step for me. Not to mention I’m giving serious consideration to simply waiting on the whole thing anyway. Why have someone come clean right now when Nancy’s stuff is still in the house? And I know that time is moving in a weird way for everyone this year but… it honestly feels like a month since Nancy and I talked about her getting her stuff out but… I think in reality it was only a week ago. Like exactly 1 week ago as it was Tuesday the 15th. Wow. Very weird perception of time here, man.

And you know something? I’m going to say it. I miss having sex without a condom. There. I said it. Yes, I want to be a father but that isn’t why. I mean… it IS a big turn on for me. Actually having a woman want me to father her kid turns me on a great deal. But the sensations are truly different. OBVIOUSLY I will continue to use a condom. NOT to use one would be foolish, selfish, and ANY partner I have would be wise to simply say NO if I ever refuse to wear one. Because at the end of the day… diseases and unplanned pregnancies CAN AND SHOULD be avoided, be responsible!! And honestly… even if/when I get married again, I’ll still be using a condom because I don’t want pregnancy to be a surprise. So hear me on that. I’m merely saying I miss having sex without a condom.... and that “cum in me” is one of the 5 sexiest things I could hear during sex.