Just Words in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

I will admit that I am kind if in a depressed place right now. Just everything building on itself.

Like… politically? I have progressive friends who keep saying, “fuck voting this year! Biden and Harris are so conservative they may as well be GOP.” Meanwhule, I have conservative colleagues that keep shouting a Biden/Harris presidency guarantees “anarchy, gang violence, abolishing the 2nd Amendment, government sponsored abortions, and outlawing Christianity!” And… I’m just… tired. Like… Trump is actively fucking with a Constitutionally protected government institution AND has said that it is in order to interfere with Mail-In voting! Like… I don’t even care if you stay loyal to the GOP… Trump has spent his entire presidency proving he is corrupt and inept. Why is THIS the hill America is willing to die on?! I don’t get it and it is exhausting!

Then we have the pandemic. Guys… I am tired of it. I think we all are. And you know what?! LOTS of highly populated, 1st world, capitalist nations have done a good job managing the virus. We aren’t one of them. 169,000 deaths and rising. Over 56 times the number of deaths of 9/11. So yeah… I am both understanding of the severity and sick of it all. I want to visit family… I want to catch a movie or go to the bars. And I see hundreds… thousands of people behaving as though there IS no highly contagious virus spreading uncontrolled through the country. So everytime I try to do the right thing… I just feel like the rest of these people are making a mockery of our efforts. Like… I go to the store, I wear a mask, I’m the only one. I go to work, I wear a mask, I’m the only one. It takes an emotional toll. Shit, I would love to pretend I don’t give a shit. There is a new brewery that just opened up in my town. But… I don’t have it in me to be so selfish. And I’m tired of it.

Then we have the divorce. And I honestly want to hear from those who have gone through this. Clearly, a divorce is like a death. During your divorce, did you have family and friends that came to your aid and helped you go through possessions and re-settle your home? Or since it was a divorce, not a death, did that not happen for you? Trying to determine if the lack of family support in this time is normal or strictly COVID-related. Because truthfully? There is a lot of shit to go through… and I could use help. Pictures and possessions alone, not to mention everything else!

On top of that, I have some kind of ridiculous fly infestation. Killed 26 today so far but I can still hear one or two flying around.

So… that’s where I am right now.