"IN AGONIZING SILENCE" in "RESTLESS: POETICALLY-SPEAKING"

Hear nothing but your own heartbeat.
Feel nothing but the cold that creeps in.
See a mouth that’s clamped,
eyes that tell you nothing,
a mystery that lies within.

You think you can enter her world,
until your face hits the wall,
invisible like magical armour.
You’re an unwanted visitor,
a menace, a trespasser.

There’s no door for you,
once the rumours are true.
The Isolated Castle still stands,
newly-built, more solid rock,
ready for more tests of time.

You may try the windows,
but the rocks are slippery,
that soon you’ll fall down low.
There’s nowhere else for you to go,
but back to wherever the hell you were before.

The Ex-Guardian, now The Queen of Ice,
stands alone in silence,
watching you from the window of her lonely castle,
with a cold smile playing across her face.

Anyone can try to woo her,
yet she has come across
too many monsters,
more than she cares to count.
Old, nasty tricks only piss her off.,
so you’d better not try,
no matter how charming you think you are.

These days,
trust is scarce,
such rare gem for the lonely.
It’s the trouble with this uncanny ability:
finding beasts wherever you see.

More frustratingly,
they hide behind the good,
masquerading to be perfect
a poster boy/girl in the (supposedly) pleasant crowd.

When the world seems blinded,
all swayed in their charm,
they secretly cause you harm,
before they force you to stay quiet
by spreading rumours
that you’re the problematic lot!

How can you convince them
that they’ve seen this whole matter wrong?
Sometimes silence is your temporary retreat.
You’re no coward.
You just have to stand your ground,
patiently waiting for the monsters
to come out of that good crowd,
exposing their hideous snouts!

R.
Jakarta, May 2020