Debts in 2014

Last night, I submitted a payment to pay off my outstanding student loans in one lump sum. I did this because my parents had decided to give me the money out of my dad's life insurance policy once it had been finalized.

I'm still of two minds about this.

On one hand, it's a huge weight off my shoulders, and an opportunity not many student debt-holders get. On the other hand....the cost. I'd much rather have my dad back.

And.... there's a pride issue. My immediate reaction was that that money should've gone to my mom for her to use as she wanted. After all, it's my parents' money. Not mine. And, it's a constant reminder of how badly I screwed up first attempt at graduate school.

It's done, though, either way....at least it is pending the payment actually going through from my account, which probably won't happen til Tuesday or Wednesday. It's the first of several steps I'm taking here to take off some of the financial......burdens that have been hanging on me for years now. The life insurance money, plus better pay at work than from my previous jobs, is allowing me to finally make progress with all of this instead of just struggling to tread water.

That's a good thing. But I'm having to swallow my pride a lot lately to do some of this.

And as has been established, swallowing's a bitch for me this week already.