Tragic in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

So, I was honestly hoping my Sunday would be restorative. After a shitty Friday, a shitty Saturday… I was hoping… Sunday, be relaxing.

Started it out by updating my new PC with my old games. Only to realize that two of the games needed things that WERE NEVER INCLUDED IN THE BOXES. So reached out to the companies only to hear nothing. “I’m sorry. This game is over 15 years old. Why would we help?” Because I didn’t buy this game second hand; I bought it at fucking Best Buy. And the required “CD KEY” that is allegedly “On the back of the CD Case” isn’t there for the BASE game but is there for the EXPANSION but the EXPANSION code expressly states NOT USABLE for BASE game. But sure… continue to remain silent. It’s my fault for wanting to play something I paid for that isn’t “the newest, latest, and greatest”.

Then I packed up Nala and started driving to Des Moines for a Social Distance Birthday Party for my mom. That was actually pretty awesome. I got to hear Thistle and Shamrock (one of my favorite radio programs) and it was a really interesting show. They were doing Gaelic Combinations… so not straight Gaelic Music but compositions that had teamed up with other cultures. There was a Gaelic/American Slave Spiritual; there was a Gaelic/Continental New Guinea piece; and a Gaelic/First Nation Drum Circle piece. Listening was very nice. Very peaceful.

But then… the birthday party. So… I’m cautious about COVID19. Masks when closer than 6 feet, washing hands, cancelling plans if feeling at all sick. Responsible. My brother? Is still at “DEFCON 1” Maximum Paranoia. Like… wiping down every object another person has touched before he’ll touch it with his bare hands. Like… if you want to hand him (or his wife or daughter) anything you have to set it down, wipe it, back six feet away from the object, allow him to approach, wipe it down, and then retrieve the object. ALL while both parties are required to wear masks. Also, nobody can go inside. No sharing enclosed spaces with people outside of the direct, household nuclear family. So… on a blisteringly humid July day, required to be outside and wearing a mask while socially distancing and then all of that in the rain for three hours. And poor Nala. She was so excited to finally be around people again(!!) but because we had to do everything outside and far enough away from each other (blah blah blah) we couldn’t be in the fenced in back yard… so poor dear was on a leash and rope for the entire visit. So while she was THRILLED to be around people, she was also SUPER frustrated! I was happy to be there for my mom on her special day but… it was a miserable experience. And then, just for that added kick in the teeth, there was discussion of IF/HOW we could do something similar for my Dad’s birthday in September, my Niece’s birthday in September, and my Brother’s birthday in October. And I’m kind of sitting there in the corner (because… due to my brother’s paranoia, we had to be “separated by household” SO… another great boost to my ego… Ames Table Bro, SIL, Niece.... WDM Table Mom, Dad.... then My table of Just Me sitting there off to the side by me lonesome) but sitting there in the corner thinking, “No, yeah. Let’s try to put our heads together to figure out how to celebrate everyone’s birthdays!! Oh, except for me. Yeah, my birthday happened in May. First one without my Wife. But, sure. The fact that none of you were interested in figuring out how to see me, or celebrating when it was my birthday, or going to these lengths back then… yeah, no worries. I’ll do my best to ignore it.”

So after the combination of massive sweat and rain, it was time to leave. The drive back was… something else! I don’t know what was going on in DM this weekend, but damn. WHOLE LOT of terribly shitty, awful, out of state drivers. License plates from New York, Texas, Minnesota, Arizona, South Dakota, Illinois, Nebraska, Kansas, Ohio… which, y’know… also great to see. In a pandemic where the Federal Government said, “We don’t care. It’s a state thing”… lets have completely free, unrestricted, unquestioned interstate travel! I’m sure that won’t impact number of cases within the state or outside the state!!

So… I get home. Nala is super happy to be home and surprises me by falling dead asleep. I figured with her frustration, she’d want to run around a lot. Instead, the YAY PEOPLE mixed with the FUCK THIS LEASH just wore her out. I get a call from Victoria and invite her over. She comes over and we work on this really intricate paint by numbers thing. It’s interesting. This is the kind of thing I need to learn how to re-engage. Small activities with another person as a way of spending time. Because Lord knows that wasn’t how things were with Nancy. Along with that, as Victoria is tiny and a woman, she got cold so she borrowed my Black Silk Robe (always a good look when a woman is in a Chinese Silk Robe) and we cuddled while watching two Dr. Who episodes. That was… nice… but it wasn’t restorative.

So today… I woke up sore. Both physically sore and emotionally sore. I’m angry, upset, disappointed, frustrated, displeased with a lot of things. I did make my kitchen and bathroom look great (finally). But it is a house, so there is always more work to do. AND what with Nala’s torn linen fetish, my ever changing body, and the nature of things in general… I still don’t know how many things I need to buy as far as bed linens and clothes and things for the house. And in the midst of the Rona this constant feeling of limbo being enhanced by the limbo of social and professional life is draining. And what with the bullshit at work… like… even if I can escape shitty phone calls today, it is Juvenile Court Day! SO… hearing 1) Father raping his daughter; (2) Father beating the shit out of his wife in front of his kid; (3) Mom, sole caretaker, so fucked up on Meth that she could barely recognize the infant she was neglecting; (4) Mom, sole caretaker, so addicted to Meth that she was still using throughout her entire third trimester; (5) Teenager who got angry and decided to start assaulting every adult he could reach. So those are my hearings today.

Really just living a life filled with joy, aren’t I?