Mood Poisoning in Current Events

I still remain attached to the things that keep me radically distracted. I suppose that on some level I feel that creating distance between me and my goals is protecting me from failure. I need to reassess my goals and map out exactly how I can achieve every single one of them. I overwhelm too easily. When I think, I sink and I need to break down my goals into small doable pieces. I need someone to help me with this because it is my thinking and methods that created this. I will do that this weekend and I already know that Bev would love to help me. My main problem is focus and that is a skill that I need to work on. Laziness is just me being afraid. Nobody is truly bored with the world at their fingertips. I feel like a broken record because I have been saying this for a while now.

I have mood poisoning, must be something I hate? I kid but I am irritable today. I took a break from my thinking yesterday and delved into the world of Skyrim for most of the day. I was supposed to feel refreshed from my mental hiatus but that is not what happened. I haven’t exercised in a week because of the way my lungs have been feeling and when I attempted to do that today I discovered that my upper body strength is awful. I don’t know why I let that deflate me, it’s not like it isn’t something I can’t fix. Then I got mad at my haircut. It is not at all what I asked for when I got it done the other week. It’s just hair though so I need to relax. I also think that I let social media affect my mood today as well. I took a break for over a year and now I have a presence on there again. This time, I’m political. I’m trying to make my politics palatable for my lefty friends. Keyword, trying. I managed to let the character assassinations get under my skin for one second too long but I can handle myself against narcissism so I just need to shake it off and stay cool, calm and collective… against the tribal collective narcissism of small differences.

I am spending the evening at Bev’s again. Her boys invited me over for a dinner party the other day. Today it is a slumber party but I will not be crashing there. I have yet to manage to fall asleep in that house. I’m irritable and just don’t want to go but I can’t let my moods make all my decisions again. Well, I was just waiting for the shower to be free and now it is. Ta