Heartbreak in Journal 2020

It was weeks ago when John tried to be friends again.

Everyone was right about him. He just used me. I cried after hating him because it felt like I really wasn’t good enough.

We where best friends and now I was just nothing. He said he had a girlfriend because I was screaming at him about him only wanting sex.

I don’t care about your girlfriend. I just wanted a real apology.

“Your mad because of the sexting, me trying to get you to do something while you have a bf, me guilt tripping you, me coming to you with every problem I had.”

“I said I was sorry. That I apologize for all that I did. I just want to be friends with you again.”

“I said I’m sorry for all the stupid shit I’ve done.”

“I want to be friends again. I am really sorry about the things I’ve done. I’ve moved on I have a gf now. I just want reconcile with you because I’ve been feeling this pressure on my chest ever since you blocked me. I still care for you as a friend, I’ve learned to control myself very well. I’ve learned a lot I feel like. I just wish we could be friends.

What do I need to do so we can become friends again?”

I’ll never get a real apology and at this point I dont want one. I’m done with the bullshit, I dont care anymore. I find it funny someone who was his only friend for years, whose the reason he even signed up for the school he found his only friends, who was the only one there for him for years is getting this bs apology.

I wanted to send him a link to this and make him read it. Make him read how much of a failure of a human being he is. But I can’t, I’m too tired…I’m too hurt. I’m angry at myself and I’m angry at him.