Thank you... in Questions

Thank you brother
For teaching me about the white gloves
The us VS them
And why we need a poker face
Thank you for teaching me about the indigo flame
Thank you for teaching me about where I came from

Thank you brother for showing me what the power of being a father is
Thank you for showing me why I need a death grip on it
Thank you for showing me that it is possible
Thank you for showing me the mistakes
Thank you for not dying
And thank you for still creating with me…you’re my best friend

Thank you brother
For showing me what my life could have been
For being a lesson
You are the martyr
I hope one day you can let me take you off your cross
I hope one day I can help build you up
I hope one day I can help you not feel alone

Thank you sister
For showing me unimaginable strength
I am crying now as I write this…
My son is the same age as your son when he was murdered
And he looks like your son
You never deserved to take on this burden
Life is not fair
Life can be so incredibly ugly…not everything has a silver lining
Some things are just a black hole
Thank you sister, for your strength

Thank you mother
Thank you for never giving up even though you wanted to
Thank you for doing your best
I’m proud of you
You’re doing fine…keep going
You’re going to be okay one day
Thank you for bringing me here this time…
…I used to hate you for that
Now I couldn’t imagine it any other way

Thank you father
You were such a piece of shit
The worst
I don’t have enough time or energy to talk about why I wanted to kill you
But you turned it around
And you made it up to me
And now I don’t know what I’d do without you.
Thank you for teaching me about redemption
Thank you for showing me, finally, what a man is
Thank you for never giving up on me
I think you might mean the most to me in this life
As a teacher
As a rock
The only way I can repay you is by being the best I can be

Thank you soulmate
I don’t have words
What we have is energy and infinite
What we have cannot be found in a card
What we have cannot be found in a movie
There are sacred texts
There are humans who know
The things that we know…they are secrets
The things that we are…they are secrets
Thank you for being on earth again with me
You make me

Thank you to my bonus children
You taught me unconditional love
A love I had no obligation for
And what it felt like to be loved back with no obligation
You taught me what it feels like to be a father
And I am not your father.
And I do love your father…he is a good man

Thank you son
Again
I don’t have words
You’re my everything
My favorite thing
I wake up in the middle of the night because I miss you
You are my light
I live for you
I would die for you
I would kill for you
I could literally write for hours about you…
I know you know this
I promise I will never let you down

Thank you my daughter
I haven’t met you yet
I feel you…in your mom…I feel you moving
I know you can hear me
I can’t wait to meet you
Thank you for everything you will teach me
Thank you for everything you will show me
Thank you for the door in my heart and soul that is about to open up for you
To make me a bigger and brighter soul
I can’t wait to hold you
I can’t wait to see that beautiful face of yours

And to my cats?
You both need a fucking job
I’m sick of your shit
At least learn to use a toilet.

-Dane