Yesterday, in Journal

I brought the value argument to DH for how I perceive him. Because of lack of direct communication, I’m forced to merely witness his value system through his actions. He said that he understood.
At the time, I felt a calm lightness. Ah, I felt, I am understood.

But now, I realize, mere understanding is not enough.

Not nearly enough. “I’m dying of thirst!” I gasp. “I understand.” he replies. My relief in finding understanding quickly fades as this newfound state fails to provide what I desperately need.
It would seem, then, that I must perform both sides. I must tell him exactly what I need.
“I need water!” I wail, sad and recalcitrant to expel more precious energy to get my survival needs met. “Oh,” he seems confused, unsure. “Get me some water!” I yell angrily, losing all patience.
“Right!” he quickly fetches me a glass of water. I drink it; finally some sweet relief. Immediately though, I feel guilty and am provoked to apologize and to explain my position to him. “You’re my only source of water- you’re between me and the water. You’re the only one that can get the water for me. And I’m so desperate because I need water or I’ll die.”
And. He might remember to get me a glass for the next little while. But my extreme thirst is never sated; in fact it only gets a little worse. My physiological need is never quite met. Eventually, or perhaps in only a short while- it doesn’t really matter which-, he forgets or gets bored.
And everything repeats.