Survey For Reasons in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

I have totally stolen this from one of the various people who did this survey on my list. I just got convictions on all of my trials today so I’m doing this as a semi-victory lap of sorts. Plus, though it took a damned bit of time; I finally have a desktop computer again. Something I haven’t had since Tiny Town. It isn’t perfect and it isn’t set up for what I want it for yet; but hey… I just set up a completely new PC with external speakers, headphone/microphone extension and dual screens. I’m a Government Attorney- this is the most technically advanced I get! lol.
ALSO: Josh just posted. As members of this community, you should check it out. As people who have likely been harassed by MyDronedLife, you should check it out. As people who care about others, you should check it out.

1) What is your biggest fear about making a total commitment to someone?
One thing I may need to grow away from is: The scars of the past inform the flinch of the future. Because my answer to this is… I fear a combination of Caitlin the Psycho and Nancy. Two extremes of the same void. Nancy’s was give me love, support, and everything I need while I don’t reciprocate at all. Caitlin’s was give me attention, sexual engagement, and whatever I demand while I abuse your mind and heart before outright trying to kill you. SO… short answer? My biggest fear is finding yet another person that has no interest or desire in giving back love, affection, etc.

2) Did you accept or deny your last friend request?
Ooo, I can actually answer this as I got my first Friend Request in like… a year! I accepted. It is a guy I was in Boy Scouts with, High School with, he’s a prosecutor in Iowa, his Dad’s a judge. We just… hadn’t been friends yet because I like to keep my FB circle VERY SMALL AND WELL REGULATED as any professional issues could be costly.

3) Was the last person you hugged a male or a female?
Female. Victoria. About 12 hours before she shaved her entire head. Have I mentioned this yet? If I haven’t… I feel like I should.

4) Do you have a pet fish?
Negative. Pet fish, like Plants, are living things that lack the ability to annoy the shit out of me so… too often… they would not receive proper standards of care.

5) If you could travel back in time, how far would you go?
Bad person to ask. Muahahahaha. Which travel are we talking about? Almost always it is the corporeal Full Travel as personified in Back to the Future. If that travel is being utilized, I would probably do a Distance Photo Tour of the Age of Dinosaurs and really help the modern paleontologists get a better idea of what their subject actually looked like. IF, on the other hand, we’re using Time Leap Technology (which is my preferred method) then I’ve known the answer for a VERY long time. August 8, 2001.

6) Are you wearing earrings?
Negative. No piercings. Currently.

7) Do you straighten your hair?
No need, really.

8) Do you give out second chances too easily?
As a prosecutor, I give out too damned many. As a person, I give a reasonable amount.

9) Did it rain today?
Not yet. -knocks on wood-

10) Do you usually write in cursive or print?
Almost always in print that looks like a toddler

11) Do you use LimeWire?
Is this still even a thing?

12) Has a friendship ended recently that you wish had not?
I don’t think I’ve had any friendships end but definitely a LOT of relationships have changed

13) What happened at 9 AM today?
I was on the computer and reviewing cases and evidence

14) Do you tend to waste a lot of money?
I wouldn’t say waste it. I don’t spend a lot but when I do, I’m not stingy.

15) Do you usually tell people when they’ve hurt your feelings?
Sort of. I tend to be too diplomatic so it can take me a while to say “you’ve hurt my feelings” in such a way as to make the other party understand.

16) When was the last time you laughed?
I think I did a dry sarcastic laugh today about a case that went sideways.

17) Would you bang your neighbor?
ALL of my neighbors are too old for that nonsense. Oooo. Except the neighbor across the street to the North. Maybe her. But she has a husband.

18) Your ex is on the side of the road on fire, what do you do?
Honestly depends on the ex. Nancy? I do what I can to help. Caitlin, I call the Fire Department and keep driving.

19) What did you do Thursday night?
Last Thursday? Probably drank.

20) Are you anything like you were at this point last year?
The last year (ESPECIALLY) has been… many lifetimes. lol

21) Are you liking how you look today?
Not. At. All. I’m running my hand through my beard thing and… YEAH. That’s still pretty unkempt. Damn. Not to mention I feel super fat and gross and my back is in pain.

22) When will you next go on a plane?
When COVID isn’t threatening us anymore! My Japan trip WILL happen. At some point.

23) When did you last go on a plane?
To Hawaii and back almost 1 year ago

24) Were you single on your last birthday?
Legally? Cuz… our separation STILL hasn’t gone through yet!

25) What was the last movie you watched?
I’ve been watching a lot of TV and Anime so it would have to be Kung Fu Hustle or MIB3

26) Do you have a reason to smile right now?
Yes, if I wasn’t so tired.

27) Who is the last person on your received calls list?
My parents. Everyone else just usually texts me.

28) Do you talk a lot?
For my job, yeah. But for myself? NOT really. My parents would disagree but then that is because I really don’t have anyone to really talk to talk to besides them these days.

29) Is it okay to kiss people when you’re single?
I certainly hope so! I mean… that is an active and literal… I am in the “hoping for that outcome” stage in my life

30) You’re locked in a room with the person you last kissed, any problems?
Depends on her level of panic about being locked in a room

31) Do you like competition?
I’m an atypical lawyer in this regard. I like WORKING TOGETHER but if someone chooses to stand in opposition to that goal; I delight in winning against them. So… yes but a qualified yes.

32) Are your nails painted?
Nope. In fact, I still bite them to shreds.

33) Last song played more than three times?
Randy Rainbow’s new one keeps playing over and over in my head

34) Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
Wow. I don’t. Well, that’s a lie. I do. But I don’t remember the first time we kissed once we actually started dating. Because we heavily made out on my 21st birthday but, y’know, she was still living with her boyfriend at the time.

35) What’s on your bedroom floor?
Right now dirty clothes and feathers. Last week Nala exploded a pillow, so she’s no longer allowed in the bedroom while I am at work!

36) Have you held hands with anybody in the past week?
No, not really.

37) Do you want any tattoos?
I do but I always chicken out because the designs and placement are so nerdy. Though, if I EVER get to a weight I like, my first one is/will/has to be the Fairy Tail Guild Symbol in the color and placement of Gray Fullbuster.

38) Do you wish that you were somewhere else right now?
I do. I wish I were back in Hawaii but this time with someone who could bring out the romantic and relaxing beauty of being in a house where the backyard is the Pacific Ocean!

39) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay?
No; though my marriage certainly tested that theory.

40) Are you okay with making a total fool of yourself?
I used to be able to do it FAR more easily. These days, I’d prefer not to because my “Regret Sense” is already filled up.

41) Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s clothing?
Often. Especially when I was extremely thin casting directors would always cast me for the “Cross Dressing Roles” because I could pull them off

42) Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you?
I know people who believe they would. I also know that those people wouldn’t actually be able to. So… it becomes a philosophical question… does it count when the intent is present but not the ability?

43) Next event you’ll wear a dress to?
If I ever go to a FetCostume party with Victoria and Remus, I might. Not to announce some “Fem Play” desire but just for the hell of it

44) Last three texts on your phone are from?
Victoria, my Dad, and my Mom

45) What are your plans for Sunday?
A social distanced birthday party for my Mom, then Victoria is coming over for Coloring and Dr. Who

46) Do you think you need to take anger management classes?
Not anymore. I used to think that. I used to have a massive problem with rage. But surprise- when I’m not actively with Nancy every day that doesn’t seem to apply anymore.

47) Do you think you are more of a good or bad influence?
I think I’m a neutral. If I’m involved in your life it is either to help you or punish you. As both are true, neutral.

48) If you jump, can you touch the ceiling of the room you’re in?
Hell yes, I’m in my basement

49) Do you know how to dance a waltz?
Only a generic waltz they required us to learn when touring Germany just in case we’d need it. Spoiler: We never did.

50) How many different colors are you wearing right now?
Black, green, blue, and naked

51) Yes or no: Coffee Ice cream?
Prrrrrrrrobably not

52) Do you think there is anything scary about midnight?
I used to. I used to be REALLY scared about it. Not anymore. Other than the dread of knowing, if it is midnight, I really only have 6 or 7 more hours before I absolutely need to get up and go to work

53) Would you rather be a hair stylist or a clothes designer?
Clothes designer, I can’t draw but I can certainly create appropriate and eye catching clothing ideas.

54) What is something that always gets you mad?
A lot of things at or about work

55) Would you ever stay overnight at any of your neighbors’ houses?
There would really be no need. But my direct neighbors to the east are moving so… we’ll see IF there house sells and WHO moves in. Am I terrible shit for hoping it is a hottie single… even knowing the chances of that are slim to none?

56) When was the last time you saw the person you have feelings for?
That’s actually one of the strangest elements about everything. I don’t even really have someone for whom I have feelings these days. Which, I know is smart and healthy. But… part of it is that I like having someone I like because tat’s more “A mission I can focus on.” This… limbo… exacerbated by the many limbos we’re all living these days… is just… uncomfortable.

57) Do you drink tea?
Yes. I love tea. Hot teas, cold teas, alcoholic teas… Iiiiiiii love teas.

58) Do you want to get married?
Ultimately, I do. I know this marriage sucked and ended and that’s shitty. But I joyfully and hopefully embrace the idea that someday, somehow, someway I might meet someone that I genuinely want in my life as my wife again.

Over to you Dr. Cox: Relationships don’t work the way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won’t they? And then they finally do, and they’re happy forever. Gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren’t right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I’m telling you right now, through all this stuff, I have not become a cynic, I haven’t. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, y’know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don’t care, because I do believe in it. Bottom line is: it’s couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don’t let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it’s right, and they’re real lucky, one of them will say something.