Additional in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

I just put this on Twitter:

The Law can be very Drought/Flood. Just strange when it is in the same week. Slow, unbusy start. Hectic, chaotic finish!

And it is true. My next three days on my Work Calendar are mostly blank. My Thursday schedule is insane. 13 hearings and SIX trials. That’s one day. Let’s say that hearings take ten to 15 minutes and trials are between Thirty Minutes to an Hour. That will be a minimum of five hours in court Thursday. Larger end? Could be up to 8 or 9 hours in court on Thursday! More likely? It’ll be closer to 6 or 7. But… still… that day will be exhausting!

Then something where… oof. I didn’t put it on Twitter because I didn’t know how to word the matter with the proper concise precision that would be needed.

I think… considering my current position socially… being a Domestic Abuse Prosecutor isn’t good for me. NOTE: Before you say anything, no I am not going to quit my job. Quitting a job that is paying me good money to use my talents and hard work simply because of a change in relationship status feels like a dumb move… a “creating a permanent problem for a temporary issue” kind of move. At the same time though?

I am getting REAL sick of otherwise healthy and attractive 25 to 35 year olds showing up in my case file with the same damned bullshit.

“Yes, he gave me a black eye but....”
“Yes, I was bleeding from the mouth but…”
“Yes, he threatened to kill me but…”
“Yes, he stabbed me but…”

”…he’s the father of my kids…”
“… he isn’t normally like that…”
“… he’d been drinking…”
“… I love him so much…”

”… so I’d really appreciate it if you would drop the charges and dismiss the No Contact Order.”

And just… in my heart? In my soul? That wears on me differently now. Maybe it shouldn’t. Maybe this is evidence of something wrong in my brain.
I’m not angry about it. When I was married? I’d get angry at these women and at the situation. My marriage sucked but at no point would I ever lift my hand in violence against my wife!
So what I feel now? Sadness. Emptiness. Loneliness. Almost an ache. It is the repeated drum beat that women out there are actively choosing lifestyles where they remain in potentially life-threatening relationships… while I sit alone on a Friday night and genuinely find myself wondering if I’ll ever have sex again. An ever increasing folder of unmarried, semi-attractive women begging me to let their abuser remain free of consequences, telling me that they are going to stay with him “no matter what”.... and then I get to review my life. The one where my wife acted as though she never really cared and then actually said as much. The one where my best options on Dating Sites have either been in their 50s age wise… or in their 300s weight wise. Of course, these dating apps are also repeatedly informing me that it doesn’t matter how tall or short; most women seem to agree that anyone shorter than 6 Feet is “too small to date.” (I could write an entire thing about that, and have before, but.... yeah. If you are 5‘11, I can see how you say “6ft or taller” but these ladies standing at 5‘1 saying the same thing?!)

So. Yeah. I think… considering my current position socially… being a Domestic Abuse Prosecutor isn’t good for me.