Nightmare in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

I don’t tend to watch Eli Roth movies (though I may have to since he’s attached to the Borderlands announced film.) Ultimately, I don’t need to watch the Cabin Fever movies or the Hostel series or the Green Inferno to expose myself to Human Misery or Nightmare Fuel. That being said, I’ve seen “Knock Knock” and want to see “The Man With The Iron Fists” so… I’m not 100% opposed to Eli Roth. Just… the man is probably best known for Hostel and I don’t need Torture Porn in my life.

That being said… what the fuck?! Apparently, my brain can handle all of that JUST FINE. I will not go into the graphic details of my nightmare to the extent that I witnessed and experienced it. This is neither the time nor the place for graphic depictions of torture and murder. We’re all going through some dark things (on a range of “Worst Year Ever” to “Best Year With a Pandemic”) and I don’t need to upset anyone needlessly. Of course, that being said… I will include SOME of those graphic details to give a small sample of what was playing out in my head.

BEGIN

Everything started out lovely. My brother and I were discussing his Seminary Courses and he was impressed that I was far more knowledgeable about the subjects than he anticipated. I reminded him that I almost went to Seminary and had received many awards in my history for my ability to understand, discern, and debate scripture. Ultimately, he convinced me to audit a course with him on-line as he figured that kind of engagement would be best for me during.... everything… and I agreed to take Existential Debates and the Value of Morality. The course was mostly questions of moral versus spiritual assessment and how it is too simple and too easy to assume that every morally ambiguous question has a DEFINITE spiritual answer. This, of course, is a subject in which my brother and I disagree with each other in dreams and irl. I take the stance that moral ambiguity exists because the difference between Right and Wrong isn’t “subjective” but is reflected best on a case by case basis. My brother believes that leads to moral relativism and that Right and Wrong are always objective and never wavering.

Apparently, our high intellect, textually based, in-class forum arguments were a hit with the teacher and the other students. Positing things like “The Bread Thief” Problem and then twisting it over and over to attempt to establish that Case By Case is the smartest and most compassionate method. For example, if you go with OBJECTIVE morality; Stealing Bread is Wrong. End statement. The obvious example question is: What if stealing bread to save family? My brother and I would both agree that stealing the bread was still wrong; but is the strength of that “wrong” altered by the reason?? But I always say that is too easy. If OBJECTIVE MORALITY requires that what is wrong is always wrong; lets go for the extreme example. Stealing Bread is Wrong. But a market is selling bread that has been recalled for being hazardous. The market refuses to send the bread back and is selling it to customers. A person steals the bread with the intent to destroy it. Stealing Bread is Wrong. But the bread was stolen to quite literally save many people’s lives. OBJECTIVE Morality sees no gray area. The Market is Wrong. The Thief is Wrong. Punish both. But a more SUBJECTIVE morality, at least a Case by Case morality, allows for the argument that stealing the bread was NOT wrong because the action helped right a wrong being perpetrated by the Market.

These kinds of discussions elevated us to a sort of rock star level in the class. Time for the final was coming and my brother and I were hanging out in my basement, discussing the topic. Pick a Concrete Example of Real World Moral Arguments and Argue Both Sides. Everyone was interested in what Bro and I would write about. Some students were doing “Illegal Immigration” or “Travel Bans” or whatever was in the news. My brother was semi-surprisingly choosing something a bit boring. “Copyright and Artistic Expression: Money for Creative Works”. I mean… his business and interests, it makes sense. But I didn’t want to tell my brother what I was writing about because… it was embarrassing and I knew I’d get a bloody earful from him! My topic was going to be “Pornography and Sex Work: A Dark Business or an Important Service?” As he left the basement… (this is when this very grounded dream started going off the rails)…

a beautiful redhead came downstairs and started flirting with me. She was asking questions about my final project. Offering to help. Wanting to know what my topic was so that she could be a research assistant; knowing that my plate was so full anyway. She was… very attractive… and flirting very hard. I was not going to discuss my final project with her; but I was willing to use her desire to know my final project for my benefit. I figured I’d ask her to dinner, start some kind of a flirtatious relationship, and if it kept going after finals… that’d be good enough for me. But I never got the chance. Before I could initiate anything; the power was cut. Dead. As I shouted to her to stay still, I’d check the fuse box, I heard a wet terrible sound. I ran to the fusebox and bumped into something (someone?) but couldn’t see anything. I got the fuses (which had all been flipped) back on and returned to my basement… only to see a disgusting pile of bone, flesh, and organs next to the intact but severed head of the woman I had been speaking with.

Dream Fast Forward, as often happens (The remainder of the dream was entirely from the POV perspective. Seeing out of my own eyes; able to literally feel the emotional and physical of that perspective).

I am in a bunker of some kind with about 23 other people. We’re all sitting against the walls. In front of us 40 heavily armored and heavily armed individuals are discussing their protection detail. Apparently, the enemy is using highly adaptive camouflage of some kind and can appear invisible to the naked eye. Every solider is equipped with eyewear that nullifies this camo. The plan was to have 20 guards on the outer perimeter, ten guards surrounding just outside the bunker, and ten guards inside the bunker to protect the targets (us). I begged for the eyewear, just in case, but the leader of these soldiers told me “If you need it, it is already too late.” Luckily, one of the less important soldiers separated an eyepiece on a sniper sight and handed it to me. Not as convenient as proper eyewear but I could hold it up to my eye and scan the area. As I did so? I started seeing dozens of additional troops… not our guys. The bloodbath was quick for some, slow for others, horrifying to behold in total. Nobody “went easy.” I won’t go into too much detail but I’ll hit a few of the memorable experiences to me… I was shot in the legs three times each (once in the calf, twice in the thighs. each leg). I still tried to get away, so I got a knife in the spine which rather pinned me to where I was. One person took a power drill to my skull, while another one started trying to force razor wire down my throat. The last thing I remember of the dream is the feeling of relief when the drill bit cracked my skull and I went into shock. Going into shock made everything else feel numb and that was the relief.

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So… that’s how MY day started today!