Painfully Honest in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

I am going to be painfully honest here. I have a mild fever. The fever being mild likely means it is NOT COVID. But what it does mean is that… yeah… duh doy… I have a shit immune system. I’ve known that for a long time and didn’t need this additional proof. THAT BEING SAID… I am terrified. Absolutely petrified. Not about the NOW. About next week and the 6 months that follow it. Our state is already TOTALLY OPEN. No mask requirements, no location-specific closures… I think we don’t even have Occupancy restrictions anymore! The last remaining Government Mandated restriction was COURTS. Which makes a lot of damned sense!!

Courts are, by definition, a place where: if you are required to attend, they can punish you if you refuse. Punishments including taking all of your money, property, assets, and FREEDOM! SO… forcing the aged, the immunocompromised, the actively ill to come to a small room and intermingle? During a pandemic that sounds like a dumb fucking idea.

What’s worse? While the State is requiring us to open back up; they are allowing each individual county to decide their own reopen procedures. 99 COUNTIES individually deciding their own procedures!!!! AND OF COURSE my stupid fucking county!! One of our supervisors suggested that we require masks and do Temperature taking on each person entering the building. She was laughed silent by the other 2 county supervisors and my boss. So… next week? Required game of Make Believe! Let’s make believe like this is still 2019! Let’s make believe that Trump is smarter than the CDC or the WHO! Let’s make believe that a deadly pandemic isn’t spreading through our world, our country, our state, and our county! We are a farming county with 17,000 people and yet we are averaging 6 new cases a week. I get it we aren’t as bad as New York or LA but here is a really scary bit of information: the majority of new cases in our county have been found in the age group 18-40! So not the Nursing Home set more likely to stay home and spread it in a confined setting. No, instead it is the EXACT demographic more likely to break the law in our county. So something to look forward to!! At least if I catch COVID and die, I’ll have the satisfaction of being a giant postmortem “I told you so!”

As a sarcastic p.s. to all of this? Nala is losing her tiny little mind! Poor pupper is just pacing with her eyes screaming “WHEN DO WE GO FOR A WALK? GO FOR A WALK? LET’S GO FOR A WALK!” Obviously, I knew she’d be like that. And I did what I could. I asked Nancy if she could walk Nala Nala today. She could not. Out of town. Another date. So… yeah, folks! There’s more of that damned cherry on top! 15 years together, 9 years married… the woman who couldn’t bear the thought of having sex with me and couldn’t stand to say “I love you”… Since March? At least three boyfriends, at least one of which was an actively sexual relationship? All the while, I can’t get more than a 5 sentence conversation on dating apps… and the only woman interested in me is a married polyam with 2 kids. I realize that comment could offend the polyam community but as a Purity Culture Dreamt of Marriage kid? It is hard to feel special when you are “one of many”… even if the woman is objectively quite attractive