fear, again. and karlye. and overcompensating. in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.

um.

So since karlye went the way she did i'm afraid. well which I was before. of losing my friends. um. I guess i'm afraid that when something happens to a friend, i.e. a breakup they'll be so damn devastated that um. subconsciously for me. they'll, you know. get to that point. even though most of my friends aren't like that. [no just me, and usually not actively. actually I've gotten better about that over the last. almost 10 yrs.].

and so to make up for the fact that I couldn't save her and yeah maybe she didn't want that and yeah maybe i'm being selfish ok so I am. - I feel like I have to constantly check in w/ my friends. not that I've done this I've just felt this way.