Attachments and Bonding in Journal

I realize now that I bonded with animals when I was very young.
What brought on this realization was observing how our mutual pet cats effortlessly bring out excitement, affection, adoration, and attention from my husband (DH). But it feels like pulling teeth to get him to spend even 5 minutes with our son.
I go out of my way, work hard even, to get him to spend any time at all with our son. His son. His own flesh and blood baby infant. And I wondered why that is.

Memories come flooding back as soon as I start asking these questions. Why did I bond with animals? Did I have a natural aversion to people, and so attached to the family pets?
No.
No child does. Good try, though. It’s a great hypothesis, because it strips anyone of any responsibility. But, alas, it cannot be true. It is irrational to think that children are naturally born more inclined to attach to animals than their own parents or caretakers. Why? Because any child that attached or bonded to someone or something outside of their own family would surely perish at the first hardship. A child bonded to anything outside the family would be picked last for affection, for resources like food, shelter, clothing, warmth, time, etc. They would be the first to get sickly and die in the event of any upsetting circumstance like drought, famine, long winter, pestilence, disease, raids, etc. It is irrational to think that a suicidal trait can be naturally selected for.
No, a child that bonds with animals has no other options. They were neglected. Or worse, actively punished by their parents or caretakers to the extent that the caretaker was untrustworthy to the child. That is a feat in itself. As laid out above, the natural inclination of a child is to pursue and attain at any cost the love and affection of their parents. At any cost. Because they would literally die if they did not. This is a biological imperative so strong that infants will die in their cribs if it is not met.

If this type of love and attention was denied to a child, or withheld in a gradation to ensure only their mere survival but neglected their social needs, the child’s need for this love and attention does not just evaporate. In fact, it may increase in proportion to the gradation that their needs are not met. Or exceed it.
If the household pooch is the only creature shows consistent excitement, affection, attention, adoration, to the child, then it is in the child’s experience the only thing that cares about him. After pursuing the parent’s attention to no avail, or to very little success, the child finds a small reflection of what he is looking for in the family dog.
Children are beings of emotion. That is all they know.

Later, as an adult, I wonder why I find it so difficult to relate and connect with people. I cannot seem to forge a bond with them except for the bond of mutual love for animals. Is it any wonder then, that I married a man such as this?
Is it any wonder that we are able to hold a bond together because of our attachment to animals, but struggle and worry and work tiresomely only to fail, to bond with another human being.
No. No, it really isn’t any wonder.